Parenting Article - Eye rolling

Have you ever caught your child rolling their eyes at something you said? If so, let's take a look at reasons why they could have done it.

Think back to a time your child rolled their eyes at you. Was it when you were telling a joke which they did not think was funny? Was it when you told them to eat their vegetables? Or when you were correcting them in front of a friend of theirs? Now think about this. Did they do it out of blatant disrespect or out of embarrassment? If they rolled their eyes while you were correcting them in front of a friend they could have done it out of embarrassment. They were embarrassed by what you were doing in front of a peer. No, it was not appropriate that your child rolled their eyes at you while you were correcting them, even in front of a friend, but do be sensitive when you correct your child. It can be very embarrassing to announce in front of the class just before your child gives an oral report, "Do not slouch, James!" If James rolls his eyes it is an emotional response based on social discomfort. He is rolling his eyes in defense. A plea. "Please leave me alone, Ma. You are embarrassing me." Do be mindful of your child's feeling. If it is not critical that you correct your child at that very moment in front of other kids or even in front of other adults, do it later.

Another situation where I believe you should have some leniency with eye rolling is when you are telling a joke. A child should not have to find your jokes funny. As long as their body language is not overtly rude and they do not say something mean to you about your joke, you should not make a big ta-do of their eye rolling. Now if you tell your child to eat their vegetables and they look at you defiantly, cross their arms and roll theirs eyes, this is being disrespectful. This should not be tolerated. You should not brush it off as kids just being kids. You should tell them they are being disrespectful. With this in mind, when watching a child roll their eyes look for corresponding body language and facial expressions. I believe this is important. If a parent tells their child to please clean their room and the child gives them an impertinent look while rolling their eyes this is being disrespectful. On the other hand, if a parent tells their child, "Lucy, you need to do your homework over. Your handwriting is atrocious!" and Lucy looks to the right or quickly rolls her eyes down while blushing or slumping her shoulders in a defeated manner she is not being disrespectful. I have seen upset parents react too fast to their child's emotional response and accuse them of "rolling their eyes" and being disrespectful when the child was in fact not doing this. Their manner was not defiant, they were showing humiliation. There is a difference. Make sure you don't jump to the conclusion your child is being disrespectful.