New Year's Eve Tip

Happy New Year early!
Tip- If you let your child stay up until midnight have him/her take a mid-day nap if you can. And let them sleep in the next morning!

Idea for Underappreciated Gifts

So Great Aunt Kathy gave you another potato peeler in the shape of an old man for Christmas. What do you do with it? Instead of throwing it in a drawer and forgetting about it, have a White Elephant party. Invite ten or more friends over and tell them to each bring a White Elephant gift (an item that has no use to them or is "different"). You'll be surprised how many individuals will like other people's white elephant gift. Put everyone's name in a hat. When a person's name is called they get to pick a gift. There is a catch. Someone can steal this gift from them if their name is called after them. Or play spin the bottle where if the bottle points to you, you get to pick a gift.

Fun Tip

Merry Christmas! If you're having turkey for dinner, find the wish bone. Wash it and once dried have your child take one end and you take the other. Break it while making a wish. Lore has it when the wish bone breaks the one who ends up with the bigger end will have their wish come true. (But in reality this is just a game.)

Movie Review, Christmas

Movie Title- Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Adapted from the story by Robert May. Narrated by Burl Ives whose character is a snowman. Christmas classic. For kids ages 6 to 9. There is a snow monster which is why I put age 6 to watch it. There is singing so if your child does not like shows with singing skip this short movie. The characters are not human, but they aren't cartoon. The elves remind me of the children in the Disneyland ride It's a Small World. My favorite character in the movie is Herby the elf who wants to be a dentist.
Story line: One of Santa's reindeer, Donner, has a son, Rudolph, who is born with a glowing red nose. The father tries to hide his son's nose with mud. When this doesn't work he has him wear a fake nose. This makes Rudolph talk like he has a cold. Rudolph joins the other little bucks in some reindeer games. When his fake nose comes off the coach tells Rudolph he can't join in the games anymore. Saddened and feeling like a misfit, Rudolph runs away from home with an elf named Herby who also feels like a misfit. Herby doesn't like making toys for Santa. He would rather be a dentist. After getting a sleigh lift from a prospector they narrowly escape from a snow monster by hopping on an ice float. They land on the Island of Misfit Toys. Rudolph runs away by himself and grows up. He then goes back to Christmas Town. A big storm hits. Rudolph saves the day by leading Santa's sleigh with his glowing nose.

Holiday Picture Book Review

Kay Thompson's "Eloise at Christmastime." Drawings by Hilary Knight. I love the mischievous Eloise. Young Eloise and her nanny live at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. In this book they are getting ready for Christmas. The drawings are terrific. The facial expressions really show what's going on. Do spend some time observing the range of emotions that the characters express. You'll see: happy, perplexed, sad, excited, indifferent, surprised, angry, hurry up, and even struggling, as in someone struggling in an endeavor. I give this book ten fingers up.

Holiday Picture Book Review

Kay Thompson's "Eloise at Christmastime." Drawings by Hilary Knight. I love the mischievous Eloise. Young Eloise and her nanny live at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. In this book they are getting ready for Christmas. The drawings are terrific. The facial expressions really show what's going on. Do spend some time observing the range of emotions that the characters express. You'll see: happy, perplexed, sad, excited, indifferent, surprised, angry, hurry up, and even struggling, as in someone struggling in an endeavor. I give this book ten fingers up.

Parenting Article about Lying

Is it Okay to Lie to Your Kids?

Is it okay to lie to your children? To answer this let us first be clear what a lie constitutes as. It is an untruth. But it can also be an excuse. It is wrong to lie to EXCUSE behavior. But I feel telling a story, like about Santa Claus, is different than telling a lie. It involves make believe and is told to make children smile. It is not told to excuse behavior. That is where the difference lies. Now some parents will not tell their children imaginary tales about Santa Claus; how he comes down a chimney to bring children presents and so on. These parents say they do not do it because it is wrong to tell false tales to kids. This is a fair argument, but my mom told me about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and I had no problem with it. I understood the difference between make believe and real. Which is the key. A real lie involves reality. Plus, knowing about Santa Claus never hurt me, even when I figured it out that Santa did not really come down chimneys. A lie which is told to excuse behavior can make people sad and make the teller seem untrustworthy. Since my mom did not lie to me about normal everyday things, like where she was afterschool or what she made for dinner, her tall tale about imaginary characters did not affect her creditability with me. I also knew she did not tell me about Santa Claus to hide from a wrong she did. A true lie, I feel, is told to conceal ones conduct.

So what about parents who lie to their kids about something they did as a kid or in college? If they are lying to conceal inappropriate behavior then I believe it is wrong. They can try to justify their lie all they want, but the bottom line is they are trying to conceal their behavior. Their rationalization of the lie is really just an excuse for telling it. An example of this: I read an article in a parenting magazine about lying. The writer said she would never tell her kids about her drug use in college even if she had to lie about it. She did not want them to know she did it so she tried to defend why she would lie. I got the feeling she was more worried about how her kids would think of her than how drugs can affect the mind. In any case, embarrassment can propel a person to lie. So can fear. Many times fear and lying go hand and hand. Some parents want to appear like the perfect role model to their kids. But parents have flaws. They are not super heroes. You can be a great parent and still tell your kids, when they are old enough, that you unfortunately did X in college. If they ask. You can tell them how it affected your grades, etc. This knowledge hopefully will have a positive impact on them. Maybe they will think, "Man, I should not do dope in college. Dad said he flunked out of school because of it." Or, "I better not plagiarize a term paper like Mom. If the teacher finds out I could get kicked out of school." Children respect honest parents. If you want your child to respect you, be honest with them. If you do not want your kids to rationalize away their lies, do not do it yourself. And remember if you tell a lie to your kids what if they find out? I personally have seen a parent get caught in a lie. She tried to squirm her way out and white wash it. But it can look worse for you in the long run. Lying so you look better in the eyes of your child is a way of coping out. You just do not want to deal with the situation so you revert to lying because that is the easiest way out. But being a parent is not about taking the simplest way out.

A final note: If something happened to you or someone in your family which is a private matter, then I believe you need not discuss it with your kids. But do not lie to them. The best thing to do is: Do not bring the topic up or if it does come up tell your child it is a personal issue and does not concern them. Children need to learn not to be nosy. They need to learn to be considerate of others people's business. Yours. Their cousin's. Grandma's. And the neighbor's down the street.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Elf. Christmas-Comedy. Rated PG. A great modern Christmas movie. Will Ferrell does an excellent job as a gentle giant elf. His silly antics will make even adults chuckle. The scene with him joining in to sing with a person in the bathroom is pretty funny.

Movie story: One Christmas Eve a baby boy accidentally gets into Santa's present sack. Unaware the baby is there Santa takes him to the North Pole where the baby stays. This small new resident of the Nolth Pole is named Buddy by a kind elf who raises him. When Buddy (Will Ferrell) is older, and a lot taller, Papa Elf tells him that he's not really an elf but a human. Which isn't surprising since Buddy's having a hard time fitting in. Buddy decides to travel to New York City to meet his real dad (James Caan). Unfortunately his real dad doesn't think much of the big happy elf. But a determined, happy-go-lucky Buddy thinks he can change that.

Tip: Other Christmas uses for Round Ornaments

Do you have so many round ornaments you don't know what to do with them? Try these two things: 1) Fill a large clear bowl with them. It makes a pretty table center piece. (2) Hang them from your curtain rods using ribbon or small ornament hooks.

Book Review- Picture book for grades 2 to 4 (depending on your child's reading level)

For our Jewish friends: "Latkes, Latkes Good to Eat" a Chanukah story by Naomi Howland. I might not be Jewish but I like a good potato pancake. This picture book has a solid fairytale plot. It's a good read. I definitely recommend it.
Sadie and her four brothers live in a small village. They are very poor. On the first night of Chanukah a cold Sadie goes looking for firewood and meets an old woman who is cold too. Sadie gives the old woman her firewood. In gratitude the old woman gives her a magic frying pan. Sadie is told to place the frying pan on the stove and say some magical words. Once this is done latkes will appear. You have to say something after as well. All goes well for seven days. The hungry family is fed. On the eighth day of Chanukah Sadie leaves the house to invite the old woman to dinner. Her brothers who aren't supposed to use the magic frying pan do so. But they get the magic words wrong. And end with more latkes then they can eat. Like a whole house full.

Article on How to get Freebies

Who doesn't like getting something for free? Receiving freebies can be as easy as going to the mall and asking the salesperson at a perfume counter if they have samples. I have gotten free hair cuts and makeup by letting employees at one salon cut my hair and give me a makeover in front of customers. I received these freebies because I asked. Unless you ask you do not know if you can get free stuff. Let us say you have two children and you want a free hair cut for one, what do you do? Pick up the phone and call some hair salons, or even visit some if they are on your way somewhere. See if they have a two for one hair cut promotion. You can even go online to see if any local hair salons are offering promotions.

Another way to get freebies is to go online and visit a freebie site. But before you start Googling freebie sites, first think about what personal information you are willing to provide online. To get a freebie you might have to give personal information from your name, email address, zip code or/and phone number or more. You also might have to fill out a written survey, be part of a focus group, or let someone call you for a phone survey. Also, eligibility may apply so keep that in mind. Once you have determined how much personal information and time you are willing to give to get a freebie, Google Freebies. Click on at least three freebie sites and see what they can offer you with the least amount of hassle. I have seen sites that offer freebies such as image hosting, Java script, or internet access to the more conventional kind like gas, software and food.

Another way to get freebies online is to go straight to the source. To find out if an ice cream parlor you like gives out coupons for free samples or kid cups, visit their official website. Visiting a company's official site can also cut down on getting bogus coupons. Unfortunately, some sites offer unauthorized coupons from businesses. Thus, if you print out let us say a free breakfast coupon from a certain restaurant from another site, you might have the bad luck of finding out the restaurant will not honor it. Sadly, a site might bait you with an enticing coupon to get you to come to their site, but when you go there you will find out the coupon is unavailable or suddenly expired. If you are ever in doubt about the validity of a coupon contact the company who it is from directly.

To avoid a scam I suggest you use freebie sites that are recommended by someone who uses them. If no one you know uses them then at least visit a site that looks professional and has a customer service number or email address listed. It also would be great if it is approved by an official consumer site. Remember before you input any personal information on any site, think first, am I comfortable giving this info? If you have any hesitation, do not do it. No freebie is worth the hassle of receiving spam and maybe clicking on a virus due to it, or having your personal information given to an unknown source that does who knows what with it.

Movie Review

Movie Title: The Santa Clause. Christmas-Comedy. Rated PG. When a man (Tim Allen) accidentally kills Santa he finds out he has to take the job himself whether he likes it or not. This is where the title's name the Santa "Clause" comes into effect. Tim Allen starts turning into Santa with a white beard, a big belly and a jolly laugh. He isn't too happy about this at first, but then he gets into the spirit of things. The plot is great and Tim Allen does a fine good as a man who's not so crazy about being Santa. Your kids are sure to like this holiday film. So make some popcorn, eat it or make a string of it for the Christmas tree while watching this film. For string of popcorn around the Christmas tree. Do NOT butter popcorn or put salt on it. Put a long single strand of strong thread through a needle. Tie a knot at the top so thread can't come loose from the needle. Push needle through popped corn. When done, cut the needle off the string and tie a knot at both ends.

Arts and Crafts Project: Simple Ornaments

For Christmas: Painted walnut tree ornaments. (Jewish readers can use red and blue paint) What you need: Child friendly paints. Walnuts. Strong thread. Either a glue gun or super glue, but neither should be used by your child.
Have your child paint the walnuts using different colors or just two colors like gold and silver. Cut three to four inch pieces of thread, loop each and tie. Once walnuts are dried the parent can glue gun or super glue the threads to the walnut tops. Then have your child tie walnut ornaments on Christmas tree.

Book Review- little kids book

"Jingle Bells, Homework Smells" by Diane de Groat. I just had to read this book once I saw the title. I have nephews who DO judge a book by its cover and by the name. So I was somewhat disappointed the book didn't live up to its name. I kept looking for homework that smells as I read the book. The book is about a critter, Gilbert, who forgets to do his homework over the weekend. Instead of doing his homework he decorates cookies, watches TV, plays, etc. By the way his homework assignment is: Make a character from a book they've read. I thought maybe Gilbert would be creative and make a cookie for his homework assignment and that way his homework would smell. But it doesn't happen. The book is still cute, but having dealt with kids I know if I read this book to them they would ask, "Why does the title have Homework Smells when his homework never smells?" Even the half of happy face sticker Gilbert does get for somewhat doing his homework in the end doesn't say they are the smelly kind.

Arts and Crafts Project: Make a Gingerbread House Using Graham Crackers

Holiday Project: Make a Gingerbread House Using Graham Crackers
This Christmas make a Graham Cracker House.
Needed items:
1) A box of Graham crackers.
2) White canned frosting or make your own. The frosting will be used for gluing Graham crackers together, gluing candy to roof/sides/plate, and for snow.
3) Gum drops. Use: Colorful fence.
4) Shoestring red licorice. Use: Door and window frames.
5) Large marshmallows. Use: Snowmen.
6) Tiny marshmallows. Use: Kid snowmen.
7) M&M's or Skittles. Use: Decorative siding.
8) Starburst Candy. Use: Stack up for a chimney. Put candy on its side and make a fence around house. Can also be roof tiles or pavers to house.
9) Snack size candy bar. Use: Chimney.
10) Cake sprinkles.
11) Other candy. Have your child use their imagination for what it can be used for on house or in yard.
12) Stiff paper plate.

You will build the house on the paper plate. Start with the walls of the house as if you were building a house of cards. You will use Graham crackers as the walls. Frost bottom of crackers first. You might need to help your child by holding up the Graham crackers as they glue them together with the frosting. Let dry a bit. Then do the roof. Make an A frame roof using two crackers on their sides. Use frosting at top to keep A frame up. Hold and let dry. You can also make a flat roof.

At this point make a decision. Will you be frosting the whole house or just the roof? If you want to do the whole house I suggest you start with the sides. Using a thin rubber spatula gently frost the sides. Outline a doorway in front using shoestring licorice. Do the same for any windows you want. Place M&M's and/or Skittles all over wall siding. When done, frost the roof. Either use Starbursts for roof tiles or decorate the roof using M&M's, Skittles and tiny marshmallows. For a festive look put cake sprinkles on top. On a flat roof your child can stack up five Starbursts for a chimney. Or they can use a snack size candy bar on an A frame roof for a chimney. Once house is decorated to your child's satisfaction they can do the yard. Spread frosting around house. Stack up three marshmallows to make a snowman. Dab a bit of frosting in-between marshmallows to keep snowman up. Use sprinkles to make a face on snowperson. You can stack tiny marshmallows to make kid snowperson. Make a walkway to front door using Starbursts. Place gum drops all around house as a colorful fence.

Movie Review

Movie Title: The Little Rascals. There's the movie, rated PG (but a mild PG, the actors are a group of kids), based on Hal Roach's beloved characters and there's the real thing. Hal Roach's 1930's "Our Gang" shorts. Both are cute and romping good fun. The movie and film shorts are about a bunch of kids who get into one mess or another. And if the kids aren't getting into a mess they are competing for something or putting on a show. In many of the episodes Spanky is the pack leader with Alfalfa as his sidekick. Alfalfa is my favorite character. He's a boy with a cowlick who sings off key. Other main characters are Darla (Alfalfa's love interest), Buckwheat, Porky, and Pete the dog. The plots are simple and most endings have everything turning out okay.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo. One of the Herbie the Volkswagen Bug movies. A Disney film. Rated G. This is my favorite of all the Herbie movies. It's a fun film. There is action and comedy. A little about Herbie: He just isn't any car. He has a personality all of his own.
For this story line, Herbie and his racing driver (Dean Jones) are going to Monte Carlo to hopefully win a race. But Herbie meets a girl car that takes his fancy. His driver has to keep Herbie on track so they can win the race.

Book Review- Picture book for early readers

I think your child will find "Detective LaRue, Letters from the Investigation" an entertaining book. I really liked it and I'm an adult. The plot idea is cute. The book follows Ike, a dog, who unfortunately lands in the pokey for something he didn't do. Ike writes a series of letters to his owner, Mrs. LaRue, who is vacationing in Europe. He tells her about his escape from jail and HIS investigation of the crime he was unjustly apprehended for. The book is written and illustrated by Mark Teague.

Arts and Crafts Project

Arts and Craft. Decorate a picture frame. This is a great holiday gift for grandparents. Buy a wooden picture frame at a store or a garage sale. If you collect sea shells you can use these. Or buy some small ones at a craft store. Be sure to get tiny dried starfish and a variety of different shells. See if your local arts and craft store carries little, flat glass decorations in the shape of the sun. Maybe look for a tiny umbrella or sandals for the corner of the frame as well. Using wood glue, glue items on the wood frame. Put a picture of your child at the lake or the beach inside the frame. Or put in a picture of them with their grandparent at the pool. Alternative: Buy assorted interesting buttons and glue them on the frame. Put a picture of your child from school or camp inside the frame.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Tips: Leftover slices of Turkey meat make great meat for sandwiches. For leftover potatoes instead of reheating them in the microwave, warm them in the oven. They will get toasty and will taste better than microwaving them.

Movie Pick

Title: Miracle on 34th Street. Kick off the Holiday season with this enjoyable movie. There are two versions. Both are cute. The original version: On the day of Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade Macy's Santa has had a wee bit too much liquor. The coordinator (Maureen O'Hara) fires him and hires a sweet gentleman who looks the part. After the parade the new Santa starts working as the Macy's Department Store Santa. There's only one problem, he thinks he's the real Santa. Along the way he helps the coordinator's cynical young daughter (Natalie Wood) believe in Santa.
Too bad all life's stories couldn't have such a happy ending.

Thanksgiving Arts and Craft Project: Pine Cone Turkey.

Thanksgiving Arts and Craft Project: Pine Cone Turkey.
What you need for this project: Pine cone. Colored feathers. (If you have a mid size bird and they shed feathers you can use these. This will save you money.) Glue. Construction paper- brown and red. Markers. Scissors.

Have your child find a mid size pine cone. Place the feathers, upright, in the back of the pine cone in its pockets. You can glue the feathers in place if you choose. With the construction paper cut out a face for the turkey. Draw on the face. Use the red paper to make a wobbly turkey neck. Glue both the face and neck to the front of the turkey. Alternative: Instead of using construction paper for the face, glue buttons on the pine cone for eyes and yarn for the mouth.

Movie Review

Ella Enchanted. Fantasy-Comedy. Rated PG. A new take on Cinderella. But hipper. It's based on a book by Gail Levine. The story has the usual wicked step-mother, the two mean step-sisters, the pretty protagonist, Ella of Frell, (Anne Hathaway) and a prince, Prince Charmont. But in this story the twist is: Ella has been given the gift of absolute obedience by a fairy when she's a baby. When her cruel step-sister finds this out she makes Ella do things she shouldn't. I mean who really wants to actually hold their tongue when someone just wants you to be quiet? Not Ella. With a talking book to help her Ella leaves her home in search of the fairy who gave her such an annoying gift. Along the way she has adventures. Cary Elwes does a great job as the evil plotting antagonist.

Parenting Tip

Is your daughter's favorite skirt coming undone at the bottom and you have no time to mend it? This is where having sewing tape is great. You can tape up the hem of the skirt until you can sew it. The tape can also be used on the bottom of pants to keep the edges from unraveling. Call your local sewing supply store and see if they stock it. If you have kids be prepared for situations like this.

Book Review

"The Thanksgiving Story" by Alice Dalgliesh. Illustrated by Helen Sewell. A book for third to fourth graders. Tis true there isn't a lot of Thanksgiving books in the library compared to other books, but even still I would pass on this book. You do learn information about the pilgrims but it was given in a boring manner. It was so boring in fact I took a look at the copyright date and wasn't surprised it was 1954. The book overall could have been more exciting. There are some new writers and illustrators today who take that to heart. If you want children to read about history then make it fun! I have to state it was noted in the author's notes in this book that the text and pictures were purposely made simple. I got her point. It was a simpler time when the Pilgrims lived in America. But unfortunately I still thought the pictures were blah. And the text just hum-drum. Which makes me wonder, since personally I don't think it's the best of childrens books and the book was written so long ago just why is it still in the library?

Science Day

Science Experiment: See how oxygen affects vegetables.
What you need: Zip lock baggy. Two lettuce leaves or two cut celery sticks.

Put one vegetable as is on plate on shelve in your refrigerator. Put one vegetable of the same kind in a plastic zip lock bag, making sure you smush out all the air (oxygen). But don't bruise vegetable! Put the bagged vegetable next to the one that isn't bagged. In a week see how the vegetable in the baggy looks compared to the one that's not in a baggy. Let vegetables stay in refrigerator another week. Now see how vegetables look. The vegetable in the baggy should look fresher.

Movie Review

Movie Title: City of Ember. Based on a book by Jeanne Duprau. Rated PG. A great family movie! Both kids and adults will like it. Movie's plot is well defined. The story line keeps you interested the whole time. Setting: Once there was a city underground where people lived. Lights fixtures from the ceiling above gave them their light. Everything was fine until the city's generator started failing. Story line begins with two teenagers, one girl and one boy, who are given their first assignments working for the city. While working at their new jobs they find out that not only is the city's food source running low but that the electricity for the city is failing more each day. The girl finds a metal box with a map. Together with her friend and her little sister they find an escape exist to the outside world. Billy Murray is quite entertaining as the selfish mayor.

Tomorrow is the first Science Experiment Day.

Book Review- 2d to 4th grade

"The Thanksgiving Mystery," by Joan Lowery Nixon. Depending on how well your child reads, this book is for the second to the fourth grade. It's a fast paced book with a mystery attached. A white sheet keeps going up and down an apartment stairway. Two children and their eccentric neighbor check it out. Could it be a ghost? The eccentric neighbor who tells jokes is a fun character.

Just a note: This week will be the first of my monthly science experiment day.

Parenting Tip- about RSVPing

Parents if you plan to have your child (6 to 9) RSVP to a party either watch them make the phone call to the PARENT of the birthday child or at least check up with them that they indeed talked to the PARENT. If you have your child relay the message through a child the parent of the birthday child might never get it. I have seen this happen. And remember even if you can't make it to a party (Birthday, Christmas, Graduation) you should RSVP if the invitation asked you to. This is not only polite but the person hosting the party needs to know how much food to get, party favors to buy, and/or how many tickets to get for movies/bowling/puppet show...

Parenting Tip- Eyelasses for Kids

I asked this question to a licensed an optometrist.
Question- What kind of lens is best for children under 16 yrs and why?

Answer- Polycarbonate is always recommended for all types of children's frames under the age of 16 because kids tend to be rough at play even when they are not taking part in an organized sport. It is a high impact material that provides safety and protection for the children.

Polycarbonate lenses are thinner and lighter than traditional plastic eyeglass lenses. They also offer 100 percent ultra-violet (UV) protection and are up to 10 times more impact-resistant than regular plastic lenses.

Book Review

Picture books with some words:
"Animalia" is a fabulous book by Grameme Base. Starting with the letter A and finishing with Z, the book gives funny statements using words that begin with the alphabet letter for that page. I found the pictures throughout the book to be both hilarious and imaginative.

Movie Review for Middle Age Kids

Movie Title: Abbott and Costello in the Foreign Legion. Comedy. Un-Rated. I really like the cubby sweet Costello and his comic routines with Abbott. This is for middle school age children and older! It is a prim example of slapstick. There is a lot of physical contact, throwing, pushing, etc. I wish there were less. If you do not approve of slapstick, skip this movie. If you have a child who might copy this behavior, skip this movie.

The story starts off with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello as wrestling promoters. They borrowed $5,000 from the syndicate, AKA loan sharks, to have a wrestler come from Algeria to America. But the wrestle now wants to go back to his homeland. Bud and Lou follow the wrestler to Algeria hoping to bring him back. While there the buddies bump into some shady characters. Out of luck, money, and in a foreign land, they try losing the suspicious men by following some soldiers into a building. Bud and Lou sign their name to some papers thinking it is for accommodations in the building. In actuality they just joined up for a five year stint in the Foreign Legion. Some funny dialog follows. My favorite scene: At a slave auction Costello keeps waving to a Sheik who he thinks is waving at him. In reality by moving his hand Costello is raising the bid.

The Controversy with letting Kids watch old Slapstick Movies. A Discussion about Abbott and Costello.

I love old movies. Especially 1930's to 1950's slapstick. But some parents find it inappropriate for their children due to the physical humor like face slapping, shoving things in people's faces, tripping others, and eye poking. I do not like an excess of it myself. I talked to two teachers about old slapstick movies. We all agreed the Three Stooges go too far with their physical humor because they have more than the average inappropriate physical humor. One of the two teachers thought Abbott and Costello went too far as well, the other did not agree. This is my take: I like Abbott and Costello, but I think their face slapping and poking is wrong. Therefore before I let a child watch their movies I tell the child my view. As of yet I have not had a child I have known see their movies and start face slapping. But if I thought they would do such behavior I would not let them see these types of movies. You know your child. If you think your child would start copying inappropriate behavior do not let them watch movies like these. Watch a movie first. If you approve of it, then let your child see it.

As far as Abbott and Costello I know when watching one with a child I will not have to worry about nudity, adult themes, serious violence with blood dripping everywhere, cussing and so much more. I actually brought this up to the teacher who did not approve of Abbott and Costello. I stated why is it she would let her kids watch "ET", which in my mind has a couple of very inappropriate words (one of which one little boy started using to the horror of his nanny who was my friend), but she was concerned about Abbott and Costello movies which have no crude jokes or offensive words? She said she saw my point but was still sticking to her no Abbott and Costello movies rule due to face slapping and other physical contact. I saw her point, but I still think Abbott and Costello movies are less offensive than PG and PG13 movies now. So folks each to their own family rules. I suggest you watch an Abbott and Costello movie without your children first and make up your own mind. But do note some Abbott and Costello movies have more physical contact than others.

Halloween Tips

Happy Halloween! Did you know Trick-or-Treating is an American past time? I had some friends from Europe and when I told them about Trick-or-Treating they said, "You do what?!"

Trick-or-Treating Tips: Only go to houses where you know the people. Inspect all candy before letting your child eat it. Do not let your child eat candy that is unwrapped or isn't sealed. No eating other unwrapped food items either (apples, raisins or pretzels). The safest Trick-or-Treating I hear is the mall. Kids can't dart into the street while walking inside a mall. If you do door-to-door Trick-or-Treating walk with your children at least to the house's walkway and make sure no one runs. You don't want your child tripping on their costume and falling down. Have adequate light. I.e, flashlights. There is to be no darting into the street or in driveways. Make sure your children can see through their masks and aren't too hot or too cold (bring sweater/jacket to wear over costume). Make sure your child says "Trick-or-Treat" politely and thanks the person after they take their piece of candy. And a have spooky good time! Note: If you think your child has collected too much candy see if your school donates candy to a homeless organization, woman's and children's shelter, or a veteran's home.

Parenting Article: Help for Interruptions and Noncompliance

Help for Interruptions and Noncompliance

Are you having trouble with a child who constantly interrupts you when you get on the telephone or computer? Does your child ignore you when you ask them to do something? Then do something about it, starting today! From my experience as a former nanny usually these issues don't just magically appear at age nine or ten. I've met a couple of parents who insist they never had a problem with it before. In most cases I tend to disagree. It slowly builds upon itself. The more you overlook the problem or pay little heed to it because that's easier to do, it will continue. When the behavior escalates to be a real nuisance that's when you start deciding it's a serious issue. Think about this: There are parents who think it's cute when their two-year-old interrupts them to give them a hug and some sweet talk when their working on the computer. But then these same parents, when their child is older, get upset when their child interrupts them to ask them questions when they're on their computer working. Your child needs to know what is expected of them early on. It will save you from getting aggravated later.

To stop the cycle of noncompliance that is already in progress, sit down with your child when you both are relaxed and explain to him or her what kind of behavior is expected of them. Let's take this situation: Your child often interrupts you while you're on the phone. Tell your child they need to respect that when you're on the phone you don't want to be disturbed. If they need to tell you something they are to wait until you're off the phone. Unless of course the house is on fire or some other emergency. I also recommend this, before you get on the phone (1) tell them you're getting on the phone and (2) ask them if they need anything first. You are giving them an opportunity to have your attention. And you could stop an interruption from occurring if you can solve a problem or a need now. (Do this even if your child knows you get on the phone everyday at 4 p.m. to make work calls.)

The case of the mysterious tummy aches. I met a mother who told me her daughter mysterious would get stomach aches when she got on the phone. They would strangely disappear when the call was over. We both agreed her daughter was seeking attention. To combat the problem the mother would tell her daughter whenever she about to go on the phone. She would then ask her daughter if she needed anything because she didn't want to be disturbed while on the phone. The mother also made her telephone calls shorter. She cut way down on long conversations of an hour or more, unless her daughter was in bed. The mother also would periodically stop talking on the phone at her discretion and check in with her daughter to see if she was doing okay. The phone related stomach aches lessened, a lot. This advice can be beneficial as well if you frequently get interrupted while on the computer while paying bills.

What if your child refuses to comply on other matters other than reoccurring interruptions? If they refuse to bus their dinner plate after dinner, turn off the T.V. when told, or other such things, bring an end to this disobedient behavior by not indulging in arguments or threats about it. Do not repeatedly threatened them to stop doing XYZ or else. Why should they if you won't ever do "or else." Tell your child what you expect of them and if they don't do it then they will have a consequence; such as, lose computer time for that day. Don't go overboard and say for a month. Do day by day. When you pick a consequence make sure that it's an actual consequence. Don't say you can't ride your bike if they don't like to ride their bike anyway. Pick something that will encourage them to correct their behavior. Once you give a consequence don't back down. Don't be drawn into an argument. Tell your child there will be no discussion about it. And the consequence is not open for negotiation. Some child can be very defiant so you must stick to it. They might rebel and have a tantrum. They are pushing to see if you really mean it. DO NOT BACK DOWN! You can tell them you are not backing down and if they are upset about it they can go to their home. In some cases you might have to escort them there.

That said, I do support positive reinforcement; especially with children with ADD and ADHD. When you see your child busing their plate or doing their homework before T.V., acknowledge it. Tell them what a great job they are doing and that you really appreciate them listening to you. Children like to be praised. And people of all ages like to be appreciated. You can offer incentives to your child for not interrupting you while you're on the computer or for when they wash the dog when you ask them. Pick incentives your child will like. However, don't go overboard. One incentive I'm not crazy about is offering monetary incentives for good behavior. As an adult you do not get money for not yelling at your brother. And I have yet to hear about a child who grew up and is repeatedly rewarded $2 every time they pick up their clothes off the bathroom floor.

Movie Review

Just in time for Halloween. Movie Title: Hocus Pocus. Comedy with witches. Rated PG. The story starts out in the 1600's in Salem, Massachusetts. A teenage boy follows three witches, the Sanderson sisters, to their house where they have taken his sister. To keep themselves young the witches suck the life force out of children. The boy tries saving his sister. While trying to do so the witches put a spell on him, changing him into a black cat. He is to remain this way for all eternity. The Sanderson sisters are hung (As a movie viewer I actually wasn't exposed to it. I only saw their feet swaying.), but before they die they vow to come back.

Flash forward to modern times in Salem, Massachusetts. Lore now has it that on Halloween night a black cat guards the Sanderson house, warning away any person who could make the witch-sisters come back. A new teen in town, Max, doesn't believe in the tale. On Halloween night while taking his pesky younger sister, Danny, Trick-or-Treating, Max meets a girl in his class. They decide to check out the old Sanderson house. Danny has to be persuaded to go along. Once at the witches' old home, Max lights a candle, despite a black cat jumping on him to try to stop him. Lighting the candle brings the witches back to life. The kids and cat run out of the house taking the witches spell book with them. The eldest witch-sister (Bette Milder) is enraged. If the witches can't get the spell book back before dawn and cast a special spell, which includes sucking the life force out of children, the sisters will turn to dust. The three sisters chase the kids all over town in an effort to get the spell book back.

I thought the plot overall was quite good and there are some funny moments. The movie was fast paced enough to keep you interested. Bette Miller does a fine job as the bossy older witch-sister. Jessica Parker is quite funny as the ditsy youngest witch. And the young actress who plays Danny charms you. It's fun to watch her be pesky. Note: There is a zombie in the movie but he is quite harmless. And check out the brooms the sisters fly on throughout the movie.

Book Review- chapter book for 3rd grade

"Horrible Harry at Halloween," by Susy Kline. Pictures by Frank Remkiewicz. I can see why there is a series of Horrible Harry books. Harry is a mischievous, yet likable boy. The story is told from the view of Harry's best friend, Doug. In the beginning of "Horrible Harry at Halloween," the students in Harry's class try to guess what he will be for Halloween. But Harry wants it be a surprise. My favorite chapter is where you learn some cool science facts. I think boys, as well as girls will find the information interesting. So interesting they might want to try the experiments written about at home. And why not? It could be fun. My favorite picture is where Doug is dressed up as a centaur, half man half horse. He has the back of a horse costume behind him, with the legs and hoofs attached to a skateboard so they can slide behind him as he walks. Neat!

Parenting Article: Help for a Kid who is being Bullied

Help for a Child who is being bullied

Too bad there's not a fast acting magical solution for your child when they encounter a bully. Like them saying, "Bully BEGONE!" and poof the bully is gone. As far as bullies go I do not support the line that defeat can only make you stronger. Let's face it going against a bully can be stressful. And it can be even more stressful knowing it can happen again. I take a hard line against bullies. Their unacceptable behavior should not be tolerated. There is no excuse for bullying another, harassing or intimidating a classmate, or tormenting a younger kid. Even if a bully's home life is difficult that does not give them the right to make life difficult for other children. So what can your child do when faced with a bully?

#1- Have them avoid situations where they could encounter bullies. They should not hang out where they hang out. Avoid them. When walking home take a different route. And walk with a friend or a group. For if there is only one bully and six other kids, the bully is out numbered if the other kids stick together.

#2- Your child should not let another child frighten them into giving them their money/having to do another kid's homework/etc. If this happens your child needs to go tell an adult/teacher. If the bully says, "It is my word against yours." Well, guess what, once an adult is told the bully now has a record that they did X. This will be helpful for any other future intimidating this child does. If the harassment continues go see the principle. Protect your child.

#3- You might not agree with me but I have seen this work: Enroll your child in a self defense class for confidence. Empower your child. Bullies like to go after kids who are weaker than them. When looking for karate or judo classes ask if they also work on self confidence. You can talk to the teacher about what your child is going through. Sometimes it can be helpful for a child to talk to an adult they admire and respect about a bullying problem. Especially if this adult went through the same problem as them as a kid.

4#- This can work in some cases if you know the bully and their parent yourself. And where your school might not take an assertive stand on bullies or where it is just happening in your neighborhood. Have a calm talk with the bully and their parent. By showing you are emotionally in control shows you are being reasonable and logical about the situation. If you yell at the bully or their parent that will give them an excuse to tune you out. You want to help your child not make things worse. Plus, there are times when parents are not aware their child is bullying other kids. This may be because the bully is getting away with it by scaring kids with their hush up method (if you tell anyone you will be in more trouble). So it is important to let a parent know if their child is bullying another. But again I repeat do not yell your complaint to the other parent. People do not like to be yelled at. I believe you will get further trying to be calm as possible when you explain the situation.

Movie Review

Movie title: Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein. This is an old movie. My two nephews (9 and 11) thought it was funny. But I told them about 1940's slapstick movies before they watched it. They know it's NOT okay to slap anyone as a joke. If you are strict, which is okay, or have a child who might start doing this type of behavior if they see it, skip this movie. In a parenting article I wrote I write about the issue of slapstick in movies which I will post before Christmas.

What the movie is about: Two friends have jobs as railroad baggage claim clerks. While working one night they get a shipment of two coffins. One Dracula. The other, Frankenstein's monster. But surprise, surprise the two aren't really dead. One of the men has a girlfriend who is cahoots with Dracula. She and Dracula plan to put her boyfriend's simple brain into Frankenstein's monster. This sets the stage for going to a remote island where the operation is planned to take place. Lots of laughs. I always root for the bungling but lovable character Lou Costello plays. And I love the predictable happy endings. If you let your child watch this movie with you I think they will find the beginning funny when Costello has a difficult time with the luggage. Note: This movie does have monsters. And young children might not get the jokes. For kids ages ten and up. For adults there are some funny quips.

Arts and Crafts Project for Halloween

This is an easy fun activity. Create Hanging Ghosts. For grade school children.
Needed items: White soft nose tissue or paper tissue. String. Scissors. Marker. Little rubber ball the size of a quarter/or something similar.
Wrap two tissues over rubber ball which is the head. Tissue should hang equally, downwards, on all sides. If you plan to make only one ghost you can keep rubber ball in. If you plan to make more, take rubber ball out and stuff head area with half a tissue. Cut six to seven inches of string. Tie string around ghost's neck so it can hang from branch. But before hanging you can, with a marker, dot eyes on the face and make an O for the mouth. I've seen kids hang lots of tissue ghosts from branches for more effect.

Book Review for Older Kids

Depending on how well your child reads: For fourth/fifth grade through middle school readers.
Gris Grimly's adaptation of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" originally written by Washington Irving. Mr. Grimly gives his version of this American classic. He does it well. He writes like a poet. Describing people, their surrounding and all matter of things in a colorful manner. Grimly has his own style of writing and drawing. The illustrations in his book are in a comic strip style which I think children, especially boys will like. I don't mean to be sexist, but it seems the way the book is laid out it was created to attract boys. Which is not a bad thing, since we want boys to read as much as girls. Some of the pictures are down right funny.
Now for the story: It's about a school teacher named Ichabod Crane who lives in the town of Sleepy Hallow. He would like to marry the beautiful daughter of a wealthy farmer. But he has a rival for her hand. Ichabod goes to a party one night where his rival is in attendance. Party goers tell stories about the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hallow. On the way home from the party Ichabod meets up with a headless horseman.

Parenting Article- Talking to your Child

I believe in doing things with your child to bond with them. Especially fun activities. This gives them good memories. Additionally, when you are doing a fun activity with your child you can talk about what's going on with them at school in a non-threatening environment. You can also ask questions about what is going on in their life in general. A threatening environment might be during homework. You usually nag them about homework during this time. If you ask why they are slacking off on their homework lately during homework time I believe the answer to this question will not give you as much information as you need then if you asked it at another time in a non-threatening environment.

Let's say you want to ask this question to your child, "So how are doing making up with your friend?" It is better to ask it when your child is relaxed, not when they are busy reading, just got home from a hard day at school, or had a bad day at soccer practice. Today do something with your child or teen (if they aren't already busy.) Surprise them with a trip to the ice cream store. Walk there and talk about things. Find out what's happening in your child's life. Get the low down, it makes you more informed. If you find out they are having trouble with the other kids at school this might be the reason they have stopped doing their homework or don't care about school anymore.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Freaky Friday. Comedy. Rated G, 1976 movie. There are two versions of this movie. Overall I like the original better with Jodie Foster as the daughter, but the newer one is hipper. I would like to say in the more modern one Jamie Lee Curtis does a great job as the mom. 1976 version: A teenage daughter (Jodie Foster) thinks her mother has the easy life. No school. Her mother thinks her unruly daughter has an easy life. No housework. One Friday night something freaky happens, they accidentally switch bodies. With hilarious results. They also learn to appreciate each other. But can they ever change back? There are some funny moments with the 1976 version. Jody Foster is so laid back about things until she switches bodies and jobs with her mom.

Food Project for Halloween- Carmel Apples

Caramel apples. A Halloween treat. What you need: Apples (Granny Smith are I think are best for this.) Popsicle sticks. A bag of caramels. Cookie sheet. Wax paper. Double pot that has handles. Note: Be careful working with hot caramel.
Line cookie sheet with wax paper. Wash apples and dry them. Place apples on cookie sheet, spacing them at least 3-4 inches apart. Melt caramels in a double pot (A pot that fits inside a pot. The first pot on the stove boils water; the other pot inside this melts the caramels.) When caramels are melted carefully pour over apples. Before the caramel cools on the apple poke popsicle stick in top. This will be the handle so your child can eat the caramel apple. If you must have caramel on the bottom of the apples you can try this. Before you place apples on wax paper pour a little melted caramel on the spots you plan to place apples. Then quickly place apples in this caramel. Now you can pour caramel on top of apples. Let carameled apples cool and harden before eating them.

Halloween Picture Book for New Readers

Get really for Halloween with "The Hallo-Wiener" by Dav Pilkey. It's a whimsical picture book for new readers. I really liked it. I think your kids will think it's funny. See if you can find it at your local library.
A little dog named Oscar Myer, who is shaped like a hot-dog, is given a Halloween costume to wear by his mother. It's a giant hot-dog bun with mustard. Though disappointed it's not a scary costume Oscar wears it. See the results it renders him by reading the book.

Overcoming Power Struggles with your Child

Do you have daily power struggles with your child? This can take its toll on both of you. First, take time to reflect on when these power struggles occur. Is it over food? Homework? Bedtime? Having friends come over? Or just about everything?

If you can narrow down the problem it's helpful. If you only have power struggles over food, rethink how you approach the situation. Let's say its dinner time and your child says they aren't going to eat the meal. You argue back and forth about them eating. You finally give in and let them not eat. But you also let them drink three glasses of milk to fill themselves up. (1) Three glasses of milk is not a substitute for dinner. You can't make your child eat, but you can decide what they can eat and drink. So don't let them fill themselves up on milk. (2) If they are a picky eater finds foods they like to eat. (3) Lastly, do be grateful that eating is the only issue you have with your child. Things could be worse. Don't make power struggles. Pick your battles. It's not worth the stress on the family.

However, if you have power struggles over many issues you should take a stand, because the more your child gets away with things the more power struggles you might end up having. Be firm. And say what you want your child to do in a firm manner. If you say things in weak or baby sweet voice your child won't take you as seriously. This could be where your problem lies. You don't have to yell at your child to get them to do something, but you need to show your child you mean business by using a firm tone of voice. Let's say you have a daily problem of getting your child to get off the computer. You usually say in a sing-song voice, "Sweety time to get off the computer. You know it's time." Your child says, "Just a few more minutes mom." You say, "Okay Sweety." Stop. Think about this. Your child knows you don't mean it when you say it's time to get off the computer because you are letting them have a few more minutes. Which could lead to a few more minutes. And then that could lead into you both arguing about it. Also, your voice wasn't consistent with what you wanted. Children pick up on this. You must be firm in your voice and in your decision. Time to get off the computer means time to get off the computer. Now grant it with the computer they might need a couple of minutes to finish something. So you could say this, "Tim, I'm giving you your five minute warning. I want you to start saving what you're doing now and get off the computer." If Tim agrees and does not get off the computer in five minutes, you need to shut the computer down for him. If he has a fit, there's no computer time for tomorrow. No exceptions. I believe power struggles keep happening because parents don't take a firm enough stand with what they want AND aren't consistent with their follow through. You have to be. Change will take time, but it should happen. At first your child could get angry. Work through this. Let him know it's not okay to not do what you asked him to do.

Some children will try arguing with you once you make your decision. You say, "Time to go to bed." They say, "Do I have to? Why?" Don't get into a debate about it. Tell them what you want them to do and walk away. I know a parent who does this. Yes, her child does try to follow her and say, "But why? Give me one good reason?" You could have eight. That's not the point. You should expect your child to listen to you. Children who have opposition defiant disorder can try to push and push issues. I believe this is what you should do: Say what you expect of them and tell them you are walking away because they are arguing about it. If they talk back and say how rude you are being, don't fall for the bait. You know you aren't being rude. They know it too. They are just trying to get you to argue about it. Say what you expect them to do and don't let there be a power struggle about it. One parent who acknowledged they had trouble when speaking to their child about their expectations found this helpful. Write down on a piece of paper, "I will take a firm stand with what I expect of my child. I will also consistently follow through with what I have decided. We will not argue about it. There will be no power struggles about it." Look at this and repeat it. If you start believing it, then hopefully you will start implementing it. Subsequently, you should see a change in how you deal with your child and how they react to what you expect of them.

Movie Review

Movie Title: The Witches. Children-Magical. Rated PG. Based on a book by Roald Dahl author of "Charlie and the Chocolate factory." A little boy named Luke stays at a seaside hotel with his grandmother. Something odd happens. Can a little boy really turn into a mouse? Luke uncovers an evil plot. Witches posing as regular folks have come to the hotel for a witch's convention. The grand high witch (wonderfully played by Anjelica Huston) wants to turn all the children into mice. Luke must stop the grand high witch before it's too late. This is a great movie to get really for Halloween.

Arts and Crafts Project: Mask

What you need: Popsicle stick, paper plate or stiff construction paper, yarn, glue, scissors, crayons or markers.
Either use a paper plate or using the construction paper, make a circle as big as your child's head. Cut circle out. This is the mask. Cut eyes holes out of the mask. You can also cut out a nose hole and mouth hole. For the mouth hole you can show emotion by cutting the hole into a smile, a frown, an angry look, etc. Or you can just draw the mouth on. For a scary Halloween look, draw big pointy teeth on the mouth with a scar nearby. Draw mean bushy eyebrows or make eyebrows out of yarn. For the nose you can make a long beak out of construction paper. Glue green and orange yarn on top of the mask for hair.
If your child wants to look a cat, draw whiskers around the nose and make pointy ears out of construction paper and glue them on top of the mask. Draw pretty long eyelashes around the eyeholes. Use your imagination. When you're done, glue the popsicle stick to the bottom of the mask, making it a handle to hold up the mask in front of the face.

Alternative: For children over five-years-old. Instead of your child holding mask up with a popsicle stick you can also keep mask in place with an elastic band. But YOU MUST MAKE A BIG NOSE HOLE AND MOUTH HOLE IN MASK so your child is sure to be able to breathe. Just having eyeholes won't allow your child to breathe. If you decide to use elastic you might want to use a paper plate that's not incredibly stiff. You can staple the elastic on the sides. Have your child try on the mask to make sure the elastic isn't too tight around their head. (NEVER use shoe lace, string or anything that can be tied too tight around their head! Your child must be able to take off mask quickly and easily. You don't want the mask to get stuck, covering their nose, as they're taking it off.) You can put masking tape over the staples. This could lessen the chance of faces scratches and also from the staples getting caught in your child's hair. If you are concerned about using staples you can make tiny holes on the sides of mask to tie the elastic band in place. Note: It can get hot under a mask. Don't wear mask in extreme heat or near a fire/sparks. Keep mask out of reach when not in use.

Halloween Book for Kids

"The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything" by Linda Williams. Pictures by Megan Lloyd. It's a cute book for Halloween. A little old lady takes a walk through a forest. Along the way she sees shoes that clomp, pants that wiggle, a shirt that shakes- with no one in them! I liked the clever ending to this book.

Parenting Article: Lessons for Parents about Your Child Wanting to Fit In

Not Fitting In is No Fun.

People liked to be liked. That includes children. There's nothing wrong with your child wanting to fit in with their peers. But it does become a problem when they're spending more than a normal amount of time being concerned with it. What is a normal amount of time? It's depends on each case. As a parent you need to be the judge. Is your child's personality changing for the worse? Are they so concerned about fitting in that they're putting down kids at school? As far as the way their classmates dress, you should teach your child that other kids should be allowed to express their self in their own way as long as it's in appropriate taste.

It's normal for children to exert their own independence as far as clothes. I wouldn't make a fuss if your nine-year-old wants to wear two different colored socks to school or his T-shirt backwards or inside out. If his school is okay with it why argue about? It might be all the rage at his school. Remember to pick your battles. Would you rather a child who wore two different socks to school but who was also well mannered? Or a child who wore matching socks but screamed bloody murder if you poured too much milk in his cereal?

However, if your son wants to wear his shirt backwards at his uncle's wedding that's where you can draw the line. His appearance should not negatively reflect on another. Your child should learn to think of others. This said, as a parent you should be respectful of what your child dislikes. As long as it's not everything. Or near to it. But if they absolutely hate to wear the color yellow, don't make them wear yellow shirts. Even if you think they'll look cute. You can ask them why they don't like yellow shirts. Maybe your son will say wearing yellow embarrasses him. If so, drop it. Even if wearing yellow doesn't embarrass you. Your son is an individual, not you. If your child doesn't want to wear the cap with the tiny hearts Grandma made him/her, don't force them to wear it. Sure they can show it off for Grandma when she's at your house. But don't make them wear it out of the house if they find it embarrassing. It's hard to fit in if you feel embarrassed. This is how you create belligerency in children. Also, don't force your child to dress like you if they don't like it. I once overheard an eight-year-old girl say to her friends something like, "I can't stand it when my mom wants to do the twin thing." Meaning, wearing the same exact dress as her mother but in a smaller size. If they don't want to do it, don't push it. And don't make them feel bad. Don't force your style on your child, even if you have great fashion sense. A child learns her or his own identity through exploring. This exploring includes fashion taste. I've noticed with children that it's the school years that are critical about fitting in. Once they are in the real world with more options they don't feel the need to fit in as much.

Now if your child wants your advice on what shirt would go with what pants, give it. But let them keep their own style. You might think a certain belt would go great with the pants as well. You can tell them, but if they nix the idea, let it go. Your child is an individual not a mini-you. Now, growing up I wish I had a mother with more fashion sense. Because I didn't have much, if any. I had a friend in the same boat. Thankfully, I went to a school where I had to wear a uniform. My friend wasn't as lucky. She wished she had an aunt or an older sister who could have guided her through the fashion world in middle school. It's hard getting knocked down verbally due to what you wear, or can't afford. If your child asks for fashion help, and you can't properly give it, ask a friend or a relative to step in.

The boy who wanted to fit in. There was a little boy who wanted the other boys at school to accept him more. But he dressed, "differently." He didn't fit in. He liked to button up his shirts to the collar. And he liked wearing his pants over the waist line because it felt right. But it made his pants look like there was a flood due any moment. His mother kindly pointed out to him maybe he could try undoing his top button and wearing his pants a little lower so his socks wouldn't show. He was truly mystified that this could be the reason why the other boys thought he was a little different. He said something to the effect of, "But why is there a button on the top of my shirt if I'm not supposed to button it to the top?" He ignored his mother's advice on how to dress to fit in better. It took a kindly "cool" older relative, who this boy admired, to show him the ropes on dressing to fit in. Mind you this boy wanted help. And the help was given in way he didn't feel he was doing something stupid by the way he had been dressing. He was happy with the advice and felt more confident socially once he started being excepted by the other boys.

Last remarks: Typically a child who thinks they fit in socially has more confidence than a child who doesn't believe this. It is my belief children who feel they aren't liked or don't fit in can get depressed. They can get angry and vent their feeling by picking on other kids or causing trouble in their family. Some kids like to cause trouble because at least then they'll get noticed.

Movie Pick

Movie Title: The Prince and the Pauper. Family. Many adaptations. G or PG depending on what you get. From a book written by Mark Twain. A poor young English boy looks like the Prince. The two switch places to find out how life is like for the other. They get more than they bargained for.

Parenting Tip

Flu season is coming. Some tips: Have your family wash their hands with soap and water after coming home from the store (you touch door knobs), after-school, and other activities. Definitely wash your hands after you sneeze or cough. And try not to touch your eyes, mouth or nose with your hands. Have nose tissue available for your kids so they can wipe their nose with it and not the back of their hands. Pack mini tissues in their backpack for school and have some handy in your purse and in the car.

Book Review- chapter book for 4th to 6th grade

Book Review-
For some swashbuckling adventure I've chosen the classic "The Three Musketeers," from Alexandre Dumus. This story is about French nobleman, D'Artagnan, and his three friends, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. In a nutshell, these four brave men stop dastardly plots against their king and queen, conspired by a scheming Cardinal. It's action packed and full of intrigue. Even girls should like it, I did. For your child you should get an abridged version at your local library or book store. If your library doesn't have one in stock they can order it from another library.

Parenting Article: Addressing Bullying and Aggressive Behavior

Addressing Bullying and Aggressive Behavior

Is your child a bully? Does your child boss other children around? Are they inconsiderate towards others and try to get their own way? Is he or she overly pushy? Or aggressive towards other kids who don't want to do what they want to do? Then as a parent step in and have a direct talk with your child about it. Change this pattern of treatment towards others.

The pushy parent. This last summer, I was watching a child I know during their swim lesson. One parent was talking to a swim teacher. Another parent rudely butted in and stated she had an important issue to address: Her child stubbornly refused to do a particular swim move. The teacher said she would be with her in a minute. When the first parent tried to continue her conversation with the swim teacher the inconsiderate parent insisted her issue was more important and it needed addressing right away. In actuality it didn't need to be addressed right away. I feel this parent was used to getting their way by being what I call aggressively pushy and was presently doing it to get her way. Now with this in mind think about this: A bully does what they do because it gets results. Do you force your will on other adults in everyday social settings? If so, work on your own behavior as well as helping your child. You do not want your child to grow up being feared or disliked by others. Aggressive bossy behavior is not a positive social attribute. If you tend to be extremely bossy think about this: Were either of your parent's aggressively pushy or overbearing when you were growing up?

As a parent if you see your child being a bully, or if their teacher tells you about this behavior, tackle the problem straight away. Whenever your child is aggressive with another, threatens a kid in order to get their way, hits a child when they don't get their way, etc. they immediately get a consequence. The consequence will depend on how inappropriate the behavior was. If they were being a bully during handball again you can send them to their room directly after-school (they can use the bathroom); or they can't have TV or computer time for that day; or they can't have dessert that night. DO NOT make an exception, such as you already made their favorite dessert so you'll let them not have dessert the next night. If you make exceptions what does this teach them? That consequences for bullying aren't set in stone. It can be navigated around. Be firm. If they are a bully X happens. Teach them that being a bully has a negative result attached. If this aggressive behavior continues then take them out of situations where they are a bully. Example: Your child is in an after-school art program where other kids and the teacher have complained about your child's behavior. You should take your child out of this program. If he/she likes the art program tell them they can go again after awhile if they will stop bullying other kids/being aggressively pushy and if the teacher let's them back in. If your child starts bullying other kids after coming back take your child out of the program again.

One parent told me her son was very sweet until he started associating with a new group of kids. Then he became belligerent and bossy, even towards his old friends. If your child suddenly becomes mean and pushy towards others find out if they are associating with a new group of kids or are suddenly having problems fitting in socially. Going from grammar school to middle school can be tough on some kids. They want to fit in, even if it means becoming quarrelsome and mean to people they previously weren't. If you notice your child's new set of friends bully other kids or tend to be aggressive then persuasively maneuver your child to a new group. Enroll your child in different classes or after-school programs so they have a chance to meet new kids with kinder personalities. Another reason your child could have started being a bully is that someone else started bullying them. They are taking their frustration out on another child. In all cases whether your child is in grammar school or middle school watch how they interact with other kids. Are they kind? Or do they boss other kids around? See for yourself what is happening. If you see your child being a bully calmly step in and diffuse the situation. Find the root of the problem if you can. But make sure they know bullying is wrong.

Also, do this for bullying/aggressive behavior- When you see for yourself, or hear it from another adult, that your child is catching him/herself as they begin to intimidate another but pull back and work things out nicely, reward it. "Nice job buddy! I like how you handled that situation appropriately. For that I'm giving you 15-20 more minutes on the computer tonight." Reward positive behavior. Then a child will be more inclined to strive for it.

Lastly, do not get into the vicious cycle of letting your child repeatedly defend why they were a bully. This is a trap many parents fall into. It's nice that as parent you want to listen to your child, but make a rule, "I don't want to hear any excuses for your bullying. There is no defense for it." I've seen kids try using different arguments for why they were a bully. "He wouldn't give me the ball when I asked." "She refused to get out of my way." "He knew I liked the red jelly beans." These are not reasons to scare another, threaten them with physical harm, or to do actually physical harm to another. Do not let your child get you into a long winded discussion about why they did what they did. It was wrong, period. You both know it. End of discussion. If they don't get in a fuss, you can calmly discuss ways they could have handled the situation better. Even if you've done this before, even many times, repeat it. You can add, "We've been over this before. And when I see you acting the appropriate way I will note it." If your child pouts or has a temper tantrum, cover this ground later.

Movie Review

Movie Title: No Deposit No Return. Children's movie. Rated G. Plot set up: It's the start of Easter vacation and a sister and a brother living at a boarding school are excited that they're finally going to see their workaholic mom. They rarely see her. However, their mother, who works for a magazine, is detained in Hong Kong. The bummed children are thus sent to stay with their wealthy grandfather. Neither side is fond of each other. On the way to their grandfather's house the kids share a taxi with two likable but bumbling safe crackers (one being a funny Don Knotts). Both need money. The kids for plane tickets to see their mother and the safe crackers to pay off the money they borrowed from a loan shark. The kids trap the safe crackers into pretending they kidnapped them. Both parties hope the kid's wealthy grandfather will pay the ransom note mailed to him.
The plot is great. And in the beginning the movie moves along, but towards the end it drags. For me the car chase goes on too long. And the ending with the safe opening could have been shortened. But the antics of the boy's pet skunk and Don Knotts buffoonery should make your kids laugh.

Parenting Tip

When your child comes home from school get them in the habit of washing their hands right away. They will be ready for their snack then. Plus, by doing this you won't have to ask and re-ask them to wash their hands later while they're playing in their room or such. This will save time and aggravation on you.

Review of Fun Poem Book

"Monday's Troll" is a favorite of my nephew's. It's been read so much it's a wonder the book is still intact. The poems are both silly and amusing. They are fantasy based about wizards, witches, goblins, ogres and trolls. Bigfoot is even mentioned. The poems are by Jack Prelutsky. Pictures are by Peter Sis. It's a really fun book.

Parenting Article: Teach your Child to take Responsibility for their Actions

The importance of making kids accountable for their actions.

It's important to teach your child to take responsibility for their actions. If you do you'll be helping them out, now, and in their future. People in society will be thankful as well.

First off, look to yourself. Do you take responsibility for your actions? Such as, do you pay people on time? If not, what are you teaching your child? Your child looks to you for the way to act. Do you try to blame others for your mistakes? Or rationalize them away? "No Bob, it wasn't my fault the budget went over this month. There was a dress on sale I had to get." You need the basic necessities in life, like food and gas for the stove. You don't need another dress. You might like one. The sale might have been hard to resist. But if you bought the dress, at least own up to the fact you went over the monthly budget and perhaps that wasn't the wisest choice in the end. If you don't, your child will see how you're not taking responsibility for your actions. So why should they.

Set ground rules for your child so they know what you expect. If they break the rules, don't let it slide. You don't need to scream at them. But you should tell them that you are aware of what they did and therefore XYZ will be the consequence. You can't make your child be sorry for what they did. But you can get them to take responsibility for it by giving them a consequence.

Take this scenario: There are two children, Child A and Child B, who are fourth grade friends. They often come and go to each others houses. Child B really admires a knick-knack at Child A's house and repeatedly says so. One day, the item goes missing. It is looked for and not found. Months later, Parent A goes to Parent B's house and sees this lost item. (In this scenario, both parents are upstanding citizens and aren't kleptomaniacs or steal for a living.) Parent A asks Parent B about it. Parent B says that Child B stated Parent A gave it to them. Parent A says this isn't true. Parent B gives Parent A the item back and says sorry. However, Parent B never makes their own child say sorry to Parent A. The excuse being their child denies taking the item and stands firm that Parent A gave them the object. Besides if they did take it, they were just a kid. Parent B is embarrassed by the situation and is letting it slide. Child B is never punished and the situation is passed over. Let's go further, Parent A feels bad for bringing the situation up to Parent B. For they find Child A to be such a nice child. Parent A even thinks maybe they should've known such a shiny object would be an attraction to a child and they should've put it out of sight. My take: #1, Sure Child A probably has many nice qualities, but that doesn't cross off that he or she had stolen and lied. #2, People should not have to put their finery away which they would rather display due to "sticky fingers." #3- Child B was not a two-year-old. They were in grammar school. They knew stealing was wrong. As well as lying. If not from their parent than from an outside source like a teacher or their environment. #4- There will always be attractions in life. Children need to learn to control themselves. You can't excuse a child from stealing candy from a grocery store because it was an attraction.

Children need to take responsibility for their actions. If not, the problem will continue in one form or other. So what did Parent B teach their child? I'll let you get away with stealing and lying. I won't make you take responsibility for it. But it's not in the best interest of a child to let them get away with things. What if as a grown up they say, "Hey, I like shiny cars. I think I'll take my neighbor's." If they do this and get caught it's now the court that's going to make them take responsibility for their actions.

Some parents find it easier to say, "If my child does XYZ again, next time I'll discipline them." Then the next time comes around and they use that excuse again. Not looking at a problem, doesn't make it go away. If your child hits or cusses, or your teen comes home at 4 in the morning, etc. don't let it pass. Have your child take responsibility for what they do. Correct unacceptable behavior. If you don't, the undesirable behavior will continue. And you don't want it to continue into their adulthood.

Movie Review

Movie Title: The Parent Trap. A Disney film. Comedy. I like the original movie better, but the newer one is more modern. The original- Two girls with totally different personalities meet at camp and find out they are identical twins. It seems when they were babies their parent's divorced taking one baby each. Both girls (Popular Disney child actress Hayley Mills plays dual roles) want to meet the other ones parent so they decide to switch identities. When camp ends each girl goes home with the other girl's parent. Will anyone notice?
The movie plot is a good one. And it makes it easy for funny mishaps to occur. Hayley Mills does an excellent job playing the twins.

FUN FOOD ART PROJECT

Fun food art project for kids.
Needed food items: Apple, peas, raisins, carrot.
Cut out of apple two eyes, a nose and mouth. Fill in the eye holes with peas and the mouth area with a line of raisins. Using a peeler make carrot strips for hair. Then cut the carrot up and put a piece of it in the apple's nose hole. You can also do this project with a HARD pear.

Book Review

Chapter book for new readers:

"Double Fudge." Written by well-known children's author Judy Blume. Just the name of this book sounds like it would be a good read. But "Double Fudge" isn't about double fudge ice cream; however it's a real treat none-the-less. It's about a boy named Fudge and his older brother Pete. Pete, who is in middle school, narrates what's occurring in the book. There's craziness abound, from Fudge Bucks to dealing with cousins who have no compunction about singing and dancing around a coffee shop. You've got to hand it to Pete, he's a saint of a brother to put up with a younger sibling like Fudge, plus his pesky cousins. The book is fun to read and interesting enough to keep new readers motivated in reading.

9 Ways to Assist your Child in Organizing their School Life

Since school has started I thought parents could benefit from this.

If you could get your child to remember where they put things, life would be easier. There would be less tears and frustration. So let's begin our organizing quest.

1. Have a spot near your front door or in your child's room where their school backpack needs to be. Once homework is done, it's to go directly inside their backpack unless you need to check it first. If you have a forgetful child or a highly distracted one, have them double check their backpack to make sure their homework is indeed there. Make sure all books that need to go back to school are there as well. In general, double checking is good thing for all children to do. Sometimes children take out a piece of homework or a book and forget to put it back.

2. If mornings are a rush for you, you or your child can fix their lunch the night before. (Remember to refrigerate the lunch if it contains perishable foods.) Your child can also lay out the clothes they plan to wear the next day the night before.

3. Use a monthly calendar which it's only purpose is, is to show when things are due. You can X off any day when an assignment is turned in. You can have one calendar for home and a small one for school.

4. The school desk. Keep track of books by putting together books with similar themes. Such as, all library books go together, all math books go together, the history text book and work book go together, etc. If your child uses book covers use the same color for the text book and its corresponding work book to identify them. Have an organizer bag for pens and pencils. Another bag for markers. Get a separate box for the ruler, erasers, liquid eraser, etc. If everything goes in one bag or box, things won't be as easy to find. Plus, things tend to get messy being in only one container.

5. School note taking. Notes for each subject should be written down on its own piece of paper. If notes for six subjects are squeezed together on two sheets of paper it's not easy to locate what you're looking for. Plus, if each class subject has its own paper it can be easily organized in its own subject folder. Write the name of the subject on the subject folder so it can easily be found in a binder. Each subject folder can have its own color. All folders should go in a binder so they don't get lost. The homework folder should be in front, so your child remembers to turn in assignments. The daily homework assignments can be written on one paper so your child remembers to do all their homework. Do not let your child scribble their homework assignment on a small scrap of paper. If the scrap of paper is mislaid, well, they’re up a creek without a paddle unless they can get a hold of a friend to tell them about the homework. But they might forget, since the scrap of paper is gone.

6. When the teacher is giving information to be taken down your child should underline, star, or highlight key words for better reference. When writing down homework it is beneficial to underline or highlight important due dates, projects, or assignments. The following is helpful for young children who frequently lose weekly or bi-weekly homework assignment sheets. If you have a photocopier at home, or a FAX with photocopier, make a copy of the assignment sheet the day you get it. And know the day it should come home! For children who habitually forget to turn in assignments: Have them write down on two stick-its the homework that needs to be turned in the next day. Place one stick-it on the related text book or work book and the other on the front of their binder.

7. Some children are so disorganized that the use of colored tabs can really help. I remember using my own lazy girl tabs. I used random wrappers as page markers for many things, such as, quotes I wanted to use for book reports. The problem was I had no idea if it was the granola wrapper or lunch bag scrap that was meant for a certain quote. That's where stick-it tabs that you can write on come in handy. Tabs can be used for quick references. You place the back of the tab where it's sticky on book pages. They can easily mark where certain homework answers are, mark passages to refer back to, separate homework section due dates, etc. Also, a stick-it (as well as bookmarker) is a great way to quickly find where you left off reading or doing homework.

8. Does your child forget where they put their sweater or lunch box at school? Children should always try to put their lunch bag and sweater in the same spot at school so they can remember where they are. On the same peg in the closet and on the same spot on the lunch bench. But they shouldn't get upset if they can't get the same spot. If they can recall that they normally put an item to the left side or right side of an area that will help. To lessen the loss of sweaters and jackets put your child's name inside all labels. Then if a sweater is lost and someone finds it, it will be identified as your child's. As for bringing the wrong back pack and/or lunch bag home because it looks like another students do these two things: #1, Get a piece of colored string and wrap it around the handle of the lunch bag/box. For the backpack, get an identifying key chain and clip it to a zipper. #2, With a marker write your child's name inside the lunch bag and backpack so there can be no mistaking it is your child's. If you prefer not to do this, get some masking tape and write your child's name on a piece of tape and place it inside the lunch bag and backpack.

9. If your child keeps losing their lunch box you can start using lunch bags with their name on them. For parents in morning rushes: At another time quickly write your child's name on twenty lunch bags. By doing this you will have one less thing that you need to remember to do. If you're tired of lost school books write your child's name in them. But only if you're allowed. If you can’t do this, make or buy a book cover for each book. (To cheaply make book covers use paper grocery bags. Remember to use the inside of the bag as the outside of the book cover.) Put your child's name on the book cover. This will identify the book as your child's. Plus, it will keep the book clean. The following is a great idea for school library books which seem to mysteriously get mislaid. Buy or make bookmarkers, then write your child's name on them. Your child should use one as they read. At least then if the book gets lost someone might see the bookmarker and return the book to your child.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Fancy Pants. Comedy. Rated G. This Bob Hope vehicle was borrowed, loosely, by a book written by Harry Wilson. (It's as if someone read the book and thought, "This would make a good movie for Bob Hope.") Mr. Hope does a fine job as a bumbling actor pretending to be a butler who later pretends to be an Earl. The havoc that ensues is pure Bob Hope comedy. The movie also stars Lucille Ball from the popular "I Love Lucy" television series. Kids will enjoy the scene when a rival for Ms. Ball's affections rubs Mr. Hope's coat with gravy so dogs will chase him. The dogs chase him all over town. At one point in the movie a song is sung in the kitchen about home cooking which is catchy, but not as catchy as the one Hope sings about buttons and bows from "The Paleface."

Book Review

From We Both Read. This is an excellent series of books for new readers. It gets parents involved in reading with their child. The parent reads one side of the book, their child the other. They have lots of hard and soft back books to choice from. They also have books in Spanish. I've seen We Both Read books in numerous libraries. You can buy them at some books stores and online. A friend of mine and her children loved reading these books when her kids were younger.

For grades one and two (For most kids I feel it's a grade one book, and early part of grade two): "The Tales of Peter Rabbit & Benjamin Bunny." By Beatrix Potter. Adapted by Sindy McKay. There are two stories in this book. The first one is "The Tale of Peter Rabbit." Who couldn't like a cute little bunny who wears a blue jacket? But Peter is a naughty bunny. Against his mother's explicit orders he sneaks into Mr. McGregor's garden to find some tasty vegetables to eat. He loses his blue jacket while escaping from old Mr. McGregor. In "The Tale of Benjamin Bunny" Peter's cousin Benjamin helps Peter gets his jacket back from Mr. McGregor's garden.

The colored illustrations by Beatrix Potter are beautifully drawn. They capture the essence of what is occurring on the page. The stories are exciting enough for new readers to want to keep reading. This is what you should look for in a book for your child. A boring book does not entice your child to read.

Parenting Tip

Parenting Tip: Don't let your baby or toddler play with newspaper. The ink from it can get on their hands and then they could put their hands in their mouth.

Happy Labor Day!

Parenting Article Impulsive Behavior Part 2

Strategies to Reduce Impulsive Behavior for Better Social Interaction

In Part I, I discussed some methods to reduce impulsive behavior in school age children. Here in Part II, I give more ways to deal with impulsive behavior.

1) You should explain to your child that when they're upset with a person or a situation they need use their words, but in a suitable manner. Instead of shoving a friend or yelling, "I hate you!" when their friend won't share, they should say, "It upsets me a lot you can't share." The first statement, "I hate you!" will alienate friends and potential friends. The second statement points out the problem so it can be resolved. Even if it can't be at that moment they haven't pushed away the friend. They are just stating their feelings. Make sure you point out to your child, would they like it if their friend shoved them or said I hate you? By asking this question you're getting your child to think about the situation so they can rethink what they did. You're also teaching them about feelings. If hearing "I hate you" from a friend would make them feel upset, than their friend most probably wouldn't want to hear it either.

2) Some children benefit from having a 3 Step Plan to fall back on when they're having an uncontrollable impulse. The 3 Step Plan can be as simple as, #1- Stop, #2- Take a breath, #3- Rethink what you are doing. It can be SBR for short. Once your son or daughter starts getting upset with another child they should quickly think SBR and do it. The 3 Step Plan will help them refocus. Your child can have another 3 Step Plan. This one can be for solving an argument with a friend. #1- Calm down, #2- Talk it through, #3- Try to make things better. CTB for short. I suggest not having more than two 3 Step Plans or it might be confusing. During the heat of the moment you want your child to be thinking of the 3 Step Plan, not "What is the right plan I'm suppose to use again?" If they can't recall it, they won't be able to apply it.

3) Use a monthly calendar, with the sole purpose of showing positive behavior. A star sticker can be placed on every day your child demonstrates positive behavior. Such as, they don't shout out something mean to anyone at home and at school; they keep their hands to themselves; or they solve a problem with a classmate in the correct manner. Seven stars can equal extra time reading at night or something else your child likes. The star chart is meant to motivate your child to make better behavioral decisions. If you know they're trying, recognize the effort. When you see your child socializing properly with their peers acknowledge it with praise right then and there. It will reinforce positive behavior.

4) If your child has hurt a friend teach them how to make things better. Saying they're sorry is a start, but after the fifth "I'm sorry," your child might not have a friend anymore. If your child is comfortable with this, have your child tell their friend, "Sometimes I do things without thinking and I hurt others. But I'm working on it. I still would like to be your friend. Maybe you can help me by _________." Fill in the blank with what your child thinks would help. I've seen this work, more than once. Some children like knowing they are helping others. They will take a child under their wing. But your child really has to work at the friendship and not keep hitting or yelling. If your child's friend sees improvement the friendship has a chance. The bonus is other kids will see the improvement too.

Book Review

Book Review. "Can't You Make Them Behave, King George?" by Jean Fritz. Pictures by Tomiede Paola. Both my nephews and I really liked this book. In general: For third to fifth graders. The book is short, 48 pages, but well worth a read. Jean Fritz makes reading about history enjoyable. This book is easy to read and has fun, interesting facts about King George. It gives King George's perspective of the American Revolution. An excellent children's book.

Movie Pick

Movie Title: The Bad News Bears. Comedy. Rated PG (some cussing). Oh, how I loved the original film as a kid. Cantankerous Mr. Buttermaker (Walter Matthau) ends up being the little-league coach to a bunch of boys who aren't the most athletically inclined. (There are some funny scenes with the boys missing the ball.) Wanting to end his losing streak, Mr. Buttermaker finds two ball players who can play: A girl named Amanda (who is an A one pitcher) and the rebel, Kelly. Note: I saw the updated version of this film and I wasn't impressed.

Arts and Crafts Project

Arts and crafts- make a caterpillar out of a used cardboard egg carton. Flip an egg carton upside down. Cut it in half the long way. This is the caterpillar. Have your child paint the caterpillar. You can make eyes using dried peas or buy a couple of plastic ones at a craft store. Glue them on the face.(If you put eyes on make sure your child is at least four so they don't eat them.)

Parenting Article about Cussing

Parenting Article about Cussing

Recently I was in a car with a young child and a parent I know. In the beginning all was calm. It was the calm before the storm. The child suddenly got angry at their mother's response they couldn't do something. They demanded their way. Their mom said no. They demanded again. The answer was still no. Friction was in the air. The child's eyes narrowed in pot boiling anger. Their hands clutched up in small tight fists. Which frantically began pumping up and down in frustration. I felt I was about to witness a dam burst. When I saw the child throw back their head in utter rage I knew the dam was breaking and an outburst was imminent. But I didn't expect what soon followed. It was if a big flood gate had swung wide open, letting out sewer filth. Bad words flew out of the child's mouth in rapid succession. It ended with, "Blank you, Mom!" My eyes at this point were wide open in surprise. I had never heard foul language before from this child. Their parents didn't use foul language in their home. In fact, when this child caught their mom using the word "sucks" (as in that sucks) they told their mom that wasn't a word she liked to hear. (She had told her child in the past she didn't think it was an appropriate word to use.) At the time the mom apologized for using the offending word. Which I think was the right response. If you don't like certain language but in a moment of frustration you use it yourself, own up to it and make a great effort not to do it again. Parents can make mistakes too. And please do not use this excuse for bad language, "But I'm the parent. I can use such language." Remember, Monkey see, Monkey do.

So in this car situation how did this mother react to such bad language from her child? She again did the right thing. She didn't buy into it. She didn't yell at them to stop it. Why? Because that is what her child wanted and she knew it. She's a wise mom. She knew her child was frustrated and was acting out inappropriately. She knew her child wanted to upset her and cussing was a way her child thought they could do it. She didn't show her child it was upsetting her (though she deplored it). If as a parent you CAN understand why your child is doing something you might be able to cope better with it. If your child feels powerless they might respond by acting out. Acting out in this particular situation is the child trying to push their mother's buttons with cussing because they know she doesn't like it. This mother remained calm and said she knew her child was upset but they still weren't getting their way; and cussing was not acceptable. Since she didn't want her child to have another outburst in the car she waited until they were home to give them a consequence for cussing. Which I think was just fine.

Now what if you ever find yourself in the scenario above and you don't think you can keep it together? It can be hard to concentrate on the road with a child loudly cursing up a storm in the backseat. You can do the following for some relief. First, stay focused. For the time being try to mentally block out how badly the cussing is disturbing you so you don't get in an accident. Realize your child is trying to get you to react. (With some children once they have gone over the edge it's hard for them to pull back. Yelling back at them will not fix the problem.) Your child is lashing out either to vent their feelings or/and, in their way, trying to punish you for not giving in to their demands. And they might be hoping if they keep making a fuss maybe you might reconsider your decision. Have you given in before to such noise? Well, don't! Some children absolutely know that you are vulnerable when driving. They know you're a captive audience. When you can, stop the car in a safe place. Have them stay in the car. You can get out and calm down (stay near the car). Tell your child you are not moving the car unless they stop the cussing. The mom in the scenario above had to do this (she even had to make more then one stop when her child challenged her with more cussing). Even if you are in a rush to get to school it is better you stop the car then to get in an accident by turning your head around to shout at your child to stop it! Because you can't take it anymore!

If cussing is becoming a common problem especially in public (some children like to embarrass their parents in public because they know it will get a rise out of people), then stop future public activities if you can't trust your child to not cuss during them. Did your child swear at you for being late when you picked them up at a birthday party? Don't let them verbally abuse you. Just calmly tell them when you get home that tomorrow's "zoo day" is off because cussing AT you is not acceptable. Do not change your consequence once it is set. Even if you wanted to go to the zoo. Cussing must be nipped in the bud. It's a bad habit to get into. Especially when a child is using it to verbally abuse a parent, another adult, a sibling, a child they don't like, etc. But sure to let your child know words they can use if they are frustrated. Like: Rats, Dang, Fudge, Darn. Or make one up. When they get really mad and they need to express it they can say Fudgehootingwombat. If this makes them laugh, great. Redirecting emotions, from anger to laughter can release tension. And it can get them to stop thinking about what was bothering them. It's a break in the moment, which can help stop the undesired behavior from continuing on from that moment.

Help for a stinky bathroom

If your bathroom has a less than pleasant smell try this natural alternative: Buy some lavender or if you have some growing in your backyard cut some (the amount- two fingers thick). Tie together with a pretty ribbon. Place on window sill or hang upside down from a nail on wall. Before it starts getting too dry and falls apart, replace with new lavender. Also, by airing out your bathroom everyday (When it's hot out do it in the early mornings to get cool air in. The heat makes smells worse.) it will help with stall smells that linger in the bathroom. Wet articles of clothing/towels can make a bathroom smell funky so wash clothes and replace smelly towels when you can.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Hotel for Dogs. Rated PG. Family film with dog theme. This film is great for the family. I watched it with my two nephews and all three of us enjoyed it. The hotel for dogs part doesn't start immediately which one of my nephews slightly got frustrated with. He wanted the film to get to that part sooner. About the movie: Two orphan kids with a dog named Friday live with foster parents. They aren't the world's greatest foster parents. The kids have to hide the fact they have a dog. After a couple of near misses with the foster couple finding out about Friday they accidentally come across an abandoned hotel. A couple of stray dogs are living in it. The kids decide to fix the place up and have Friday stay with the two strays while they are in school. The boy is gifted with the mind of an inventor and creates some fun features for the dogs. Three more kids join in helping to fix up the hotel for dogs. The kids find more strays to stay at the hotel. And that's all I'll write about. I want to save something for you and your kids about the movie.