Why it is Important to Talk to Your Kids, Part 2

Food for thought: Does your child not disclose their real feelings because they think you would disapprove of them? Children no matter what they say, like to be approved of. Let us say you are a high powered lawyer and you feel cheerleading is beneath you, so you tell your daughter when you see a cheerleader, "Why would anyone want to be a cheerleader? It is not like they do anything useful. All they do is jump and down like idiots." Now if your daughter has a secret dream to be a cheerleader, do you think she is going to share this idea with a mother who feels that way? So if she secretly tries out for the squad and does not make it, why would she tell you she is depressed about it? You might just tell her it was a big waste of time anyway. Never belittle a child's dream, even if it is not a dream you would choose for yourself. Remember your child is not you.

Kids can hide their feelings from parents for different reasons. They feel they will not understand; they do not think their parent can help solve the problem; what is the point; the child does not want to be a burden (such as his mother is going through a divorce with his father and she is already stressed out so why trouble her with X.). Watch for signs of loneliness, anger or depression. Does your child hide out in their room talking to no one? Do they spend a lot of time alone at school? Do they slam doors repeatedly in frustration? Do they weep for no apparent reason? You can not make your child talk to you. But you can reach out to them.

Last remark: I have heard a few parents complain, "I was close to my mother growing up and shared what was going on in my life with her, so why doesn't my child do the same thing with me?" Answer: Your child is not you. Maybe you’re extroverted where your child tends to be shy and private.

Why it is Important to Talk to Your Kids, Part 1

Too bad kids do not have signs that appear on their forehead that say how they feel. "I am depressed." "I feel like a loser." "I feel lonely." "I hate being me." "I hate my life." I feel devastated because I did not make the football team." If kids had forehead signs to show how they feel it would make life easier. But they do not. So you have to look for other signs. Like behavioral ones. You should make a genuine effort to talk to your kids to find out what’s going on. Not just ask them how school is as you are reading the morning newspaper.

Some problems if you knew about you could actually help with, such as your child is seriously depressed. If you knew this you would take your child to see a doctor. You could also help out if you knew, or took some time to know, about how badly your daughter wants to be a cheerleader. You could get someone to help her out with some cheer moves. Maybe you have a friend's daughter who is a cheerleader or has taken a lot of dance classes. If so get her to teach your daughter some moves. Or you can enroll your daughter in cheerleading camp. If you can not afford this then rent how to DVD's on cheerleading. Another problem that you could help with, if you took time to notice, is if your young child seems lonely. Teach your child how to make friends Watch how he interacts with other kids. Maybe other children do not like to play with him because they find him annoying. Does your child pester other kids? Does he ask too many questions or complain a lot? (Why do we have to play here? Why do we have to play that way? Why can't I go first? I don't like the rules.)

Book Review: The Ice Cream Store

How can you not pick up a book called The Ice Cream Store? Poems by Dennis Lee. Pictures by David McPhail. The poems are whimsical, the pictures well drawn. What’s great about this book is a child who reads it, or is read to, can learn how to make up their own funny, rhyming poems. Why not pick up a fun book like this and start making up silly poems with your own child.

Part 5: Sugar and Kids

Things you can do to reduce white sugar intake in your home. With some desserts you can substitute the needed white sugar ingredient with something else. Get a cook book on it. Also, some fruits alone are sweet tasting. You can offer these types of fruits as a dessert. You can make Mondays and Wednesdays tasty fruit dessert night. Serve mangos slices. Nectarine slices. Cut up watermelon. (Some children are more inclined to eat fruit if it's sliced or cut up.) Fresh strawberries. Blueberries. Dried apricots. Dried peaches. Don't serve fruit that your child isn't keen about. This defeats the purpose of getting your child to see fruit as a tasty dessert. In other countries other than the U.S. fruit actually is considered a dessert.

Part 4: Sugar and Kids

Now for parents who insist on the no sugar policy: Unless your child truly doesn't mind it I think you should ease up on it once your child enters school. It's great you want to instill good eating habits, but you can't keep your child from sugar forever. Which brings me to; I don't believe it's fair to keep your child from a friend's birthday party due any candy and cupcakes that might be served. There's more to parties than cookies and cupcakes. There's enjoying a good time with friends. Additionally, you shouldn't make your child feel guilty about desiring sweets. You can teach them what's healthy, but you shouldn't shame them out of wanting sugary treats. Example: "Crystal, you don't want to go to that birthday party do you. They will be having a piñata with candy, plus sodas and ice cream. All of which are bad for your body. A smart girl wouldn't want to go." This is an unfair. Smart people do desire desserts. A person's IQ has nothing to do with wanting candy. And you're not really asking Crystal, you're telling her. Help your child make good decisions, but have some faith that when you're not around your child won't be eating half the cake at a party. Realistically what are the odds of that happening? If she did, I could understand you not wanting her to go. It's also inappropriate to call a parent and ask, "Do you mind having a watermelon instead of a cake for your child's birthday? It would be better for the children." You might be thinking, "What gull! Who would do that?" But some people are so into what they believe, they think it is okay to force their views on others. That said if you are close to the parent of the birthday child I believe it is fine to call the parent and tell them about your no sugar policy (they might already know, but you can tell them again). You can politely ask if YOU can provide some non-cane sugar treat to go with whatever dessert they might be providing. This is a great way to introduce to other children different ways treats can be had. (You can do this for school bake sales as well.) If your child is diabetic I think most parents would be understanding.

Part 3, Article on Kids and Sugar

Unless you live in a place where the community at large doesn't eat sweets it can be very difficult to keep a "no sugar at all" rule. My vote is: Just try to just limit sugar intake. But make sure the tummy has healthy food in it before the child has sweets. I know a parent who let's their children have one treat a day. Either one Tootsie Roll, a piece of gum or a small bowl of Jell-O. If your family enjoys ice cream you can have it on Fridays. You don't need it every night. Plus, it will give your child something to look forward to. Also, your child doesn't need snack pack treats everyday. Don't start a habit that will be hard to break. A treat should be something special, something that isn't normally had. Your child doesn't need sugary cereal in the morning, plus, a dessert after lunch and dinner. If you do this it becomes a routine. With holidays and vacations you can let your child have more sweets, but not an overload. Sweets in moderation.

Don't let a child pull the wool over your eyes. Beware of the "But I hate what we're having for dinner so can I have a bowl of cereal?" and then your child has a big bowl of sugary cereal.

At birthday parties you can tell your child they can pick one treat. A small piece of cake or a small bowl of ice cream. Or a couple of pieces of piñata candy. Or as the parent you can say, "A little of all." You are the parent after all. For Halloween: Limit the time your child Trick-or-Treats. This limits how much candy they receive. When they get home have them go through their candy and pick out the ones they really like (no candy without tight packaging). Put a limit on it. 25-30 pieces. The rest can go with Dad to work, or to a homeless shelter. Some schools have a homeless shelter Halloween candy program. If your school doesn't, you can start one. Of the candy your child has chosen to keep, put it away and dole out a piece or two a day (depending on how big the candy is).

Book Review: Emma Dilemma, Big Sister Poems

Emma Dilemma, Big Sister Poems by Kristine O’Connell George. Illustrated by Nancy Carpenter. Great gift idea for a little girl who has a younger sister. Book is a collection of poems about a little sister with pictures that match. Poems are easy to read, and are about everyday situations dealing with a little sister.

Part 2- Sugar and Kids

During the no sugar policy, the child from Part 1 was allowed juice. Everyday. More than once a day. Her mother didn't think juice counted as a treat. A tall glass of apple juice was even tried for a substitute for wanting a sugary solid treat. I explained to the mother juices contain high amounts of sugar so she was actually defeating her no sugar purpose. She stated her juices weren't from concentrate. Just look on a bottle of juice not made from concentrate and you'll see it still has a high sugar content. Talk to your pediatrician. Having tall glasses of juice, whether it be orange, apple, grape juice, etc. everyday, more than once a day, is the way of the past for young kids. The small orange juice glasses you see served at restaurants are the new juice glass for kids. Talk to you family doctor but I was informed four ounces a day of juice is okay. Also, you might already know this but babies and toddlers shouldn't fall asleep with juice or milk bottles in their mouth. It's bad for their teeth. If your child absolutely loves juice try this, do half water half juice. I find juices so sugary tasting that mixing it with water actually makes it taste better. Start doing this when your child is young so they don't get use to the really sugary taste of 100% juice. You can try even less than half juice to the mixture of water if you want.

Movie Review: Escape to Witch Mountain

Movie Title: Escape to Witch Mountain. Disney Film. Rated G. As a child this movie was a favorite of a friend of mine. She saw it over and over and over. Two orphan siblings have special powers. (They can move objects, ESP…) The little girl knows a man will get hurt if he gets in a car. The man believes her. His car is hit. The man tells his rich employer, Mr. Bolt, about the psychic little girl. Mr. Bolt invites the brother and sister to live with him. He wants to harness their powers for his own gain. The kids run away. They hitch a ride with a cranky old man. They get him to take them to where they think they came from. It ends up the kids are from another planet. And that's why they have special powers. This is a cute film. Kids will like the sibling's special powers. My favorite part: When Mr. Bolt's helicopter flies upside down.

Part 1 of 5 Part Article on Sugar and Kids

The first time I remember tasting ice cream was when I was five. I fell in love with it and we've been going steady ever since. But as a child I didn't see it every night, and before me and my true love could be together I had to eat a healthy meal.

There are some new parents who have grand plans. They intend to be militant about their children's sugar intake. Other parents go to the far left with the attitude, "What's the point, my kids will see lots of sugary foods in the real world." I had a friend whose parents believed this. Their house was like a mini candy store. It was a kid's paradise. My friend didn't have a sweet tooth, preferring salty foods instead like pickles and nuts (Which also should be monitored with kids. Because too much salt isn't a good thing either.). So she wasn't tempted by the sweets she said. However, with her sister it was a different matter. She had a sweet tooth and ate and ate sweets. While my friend stayed thin and never had a cavity until she was an adult, her sister became obese and had many cavities. I do believe some children crave sweets more than others. So what is a parent to do?

As a former nanny this is my take. Unless your child has a medical condition where they shouldn't have sweets, I personally don't believe in totally denying your child of sweets. Case in point: There was a mother who had a rule her children couldn't have any brown or white sugar sweets. Her children would see other kids eat sweets in school, at birthday parties and other places. Her kids saw relatives eating sweets with delight at get-togethers. One of her children desperately wanted to try sweets. At a family gathering, behind their mother's back, this child consumed a very large amount of sugary treats. The child got a belly ache. But there was no going back. The more this child's mother wouldn't let her have treats the more she wanted it. Even if she had to steal it at family functions. It got worse. The child felt bad for having a small sliver of cake at birthday parties. When the child would come home her mother would ask, "Did you have any cake at the party?" The child would purposely lie, knowing if she said yes her mother would be very disappointed. All this because she was denied something other kids in her circle got. This child was a very loving, honest child except when it came to sweets. Horrible tantrums were soon happening over sugary treats. Since things weren't working out the child's mother, thankfully, got rid of her absolutely "no sugar" policy. The child felt a lot better not having to lie to her mother about having a small amount of treats at parties and at friends' houses.

Emergency tip: Flashlights

Keep a flashlight near your bed in case of an emergency. Have flashlights in strategic places around the house, like the kitchen, bathroom, garage, etc. Remember to check batteries every so often. If there is a blackout and your child is in the bathroom, having a flashlight there will let them see, and thus they'll feel a little safer.

How to make stone magnet pictures

Arts and Craft Project: Refrigerator magnets.
What you need: Old magnets, clear stones used in vases (about an inch big and comes in netted bags), tiny face photos of family pet or person, or draw a tiny picture of heart, star, etc., and clear glue.
What to do: Cut photo or tiny picture to size of bottom of see through stone. Glue picture, upwards, to flat bottom of stone so you can see it when you look down at stone. Once glue has dried, glue magnet under the picture. Once magnet dries, cut to size of stone.

Movie Review: Lady and the Tramp

Movie Title: Lady and the Tramp. Disney movie. Animation. Rated G. I've seen this movie at least five times. It's a cute film so I don't mind watching it with kids. It's a classic dogs are good, cats are a pain movie. Lady is a pampered pooch. Until her mistress has a baby that is. A family member with two cats comes to help out and treats Lady like a dog. Her two sly cats make things difficult for Lady. Lady meets a free spirited mutt, Tramp. Together they have adventures and fun. They fall in love. A timeless scene is when the two dogs share a plate of spaghetti. In the end Lady ends up a pampered pooch again. And Tramp comes to live with her humans. Little kids should like this movie. It's got dogs and more dogs.