Arts and Crafts Project

Arts and crafts- make a caterpillar out of a used cardboard egg carton. Flip an egg carton upside down. Cut it in half the long way. This is the caterpillar. Have your child paint the caterpillar. You can make eyes using dried peas or buy a couple of plastic ones at a craft store. Glue them on the face.(If you put eyes on make sure your child is at least four so they don't eat them.)

Parenting Article about Cussing

Parenting Article about Cussing

Recently I was in a car with a young child and a parent I know. In the beginning all was calm. It was the calm before the storm. The child suddenly got angry at their mother's response they couldn't do something. They demanded their way. Their mom said no. They demanded again. The answer was still no. Friction was in the air. The child's eyes narrowed in pot boiling anger. Their hands clutched up in small tight fists. Which frantically began pumping up and down in frustration. I felt I was about to witness a dam burst. When I saw the child throw back their head in utter rage I knew the dam was breaking and an outburst was imminent. But I didn't expect what soon followed. It was if a big flood gate had swung wide open, letting out sewer filth. Bad words flew out of the child's mouth in rapid succession. It ended with, "Blank you, Mom!" My eyes at this point were wide open in surprise. I had never heard foul language before from this child. Their parents didn't use foul language in their home. In fact, when this child caught their mom using the word "sucks" (as in that sucks) they told their mom that wasn't a word she liked to hear. (She had told her child in the past she didn't think it was an appropriate word to use.) At the time the mom apologized for using the offending word. Which I think was the right response. If you don't like certain language but in a moment of frustration you use it yourself, own up to it and make a great effort not to do it again. Parents can make mistakes too. And please do not use this excuse for bad language, "But I'm the parent. I can use such language." Remember, Monkey see, Monkey do.

So in this car situation how did this mother react to such bad language from her child? She again did the right thing. She didn't buy into it. She didn't yell at them to stop it. Why? Because that is what her child wanted and she knew it. She's a wise mom. She knew her child was frustrated and was acting out inappropriately. She knew her child wanted to upset her and cussing was a way her child thought they could do it. She didn't show her child it was upsetting her (though she deplored it). If as a parent you CAN understand why your child is doing something you might be able to cope better with it. If your child feels powerless they might respond by acting out. Acting out in this particular situation is the child trying to push their mother's buttons with cussing because they know she doesn't like it. This mother remained calm and said she knew her child was upset but they still weren't getting their way; and cussing was not acceptable. Since she didn't want her child to have another outburst in the car she waited until they were home to give them a consequence for cussing. Which I think was just fine.

Now what if you ever find yourself in the scenario above and you don't think you can keep it together? It can be hard to concentrate on the road with a child loudly cursing up a storm in the backseat. You can do the following for some relief. First, stay focused. For the time being try to mentally block out how badly the cussing is disturbing you so you don't get in an accident. Realize your child is trying to get you to react. (With some children once they have gone over the edge it's hard for them to pull back. Yelling back at them will not fix the problem.) Your child is lashing out either to vent their feelings or/and, in their way, trying to punish you for not giving in to their demands. And they might be hoping if they keep making a fuss maybe you might reconsider your decision. Have you given in before to such noise? Well, don't! Some children absolutely know that you are vulnerable when driving. They know you're a captive audience. When you can, stop the car in a safe place. Have them stay in the car. You can get out and calm down (stay near the car). Tell your child you are not moving the car unless they stop the cussing. The mom in the scenario above had to do this (she even had to make more then one stop when her child challenged her with more cussing). Even if you are in a rush to get to school it is better you stop the car then to get in an accident by turning your head around to shout at your child to stop it! Because you can't take it anymore!

If cussing is becoming a common problem especially in public (some children like to embarrass their parents in public because they know it will get a rise out of people), then stop future public activities if you can't trust your child to not cuss during them. Did your child swear at you for being late when you picked them up at a birthday party? Don't let them verbally abuse you. Just calmly tell them when you get home that tomorrow's "zoo day" is off because cussing AT you is not acceptable. Do not change your consequence once it is set. Even if you wanted to go to the zoo. Cussing must be nipped in the bud. It's a bad habit to get into. Especially when a child is using it to verbally abuse a parent, another adult, a sibling, a child they don't like, etc. But sure to let your child know words they can use if they are frustrated. Like: Rats, Dang, Fudge, Darn. Or make one up. When they get really mad and they need to express it they can say Fudgehootingwombat. If this makes them laugh, great. Redirecting emotions, from anger to laughter can release tension. And it can get them to stop thinking about what was bothering them. It's a break in the moment, which can help stop the undesired behavior from continuing on from that moment.

Help for a stinky bathroom

If your bathroom has a less than pleasant smell try this natural alternative: Buy some lavender or if you have some growing in your backyard cut some (the amount- two fingers thick). Tie together with a pretty ribbon. Place on window sill or hang upside down from a nail on wall. Before it starts getting too dry and falls apart, replace with new lavender. Also, by airing out your bathroom everyday (When it's hot out do it in the early mornings to get cool air in. The heat makes smells worse.) it will help with stall smells that linger in the bathroom. Wet articles of clothing/towels can make a bathroom smell funky so wash clothes and replace smelly towels when you can.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Hotel for Dogs. Rated PG. Family film with dog theme. This film is great for the family. I watched it with my two nephews and all three of us enjoyed it. The hotel for dogs part doesn't start immediately which one of my nephews slightly got frustrated with. He wanted the film to get to that part sooner. About the movie: Two orphan kids with a dog named Friday live with foster parents. They aren't the world's greatest foster parents. The kids have to hide the fact they have a dog. After a couple of near misses with the foster couple finding out about Friday they accidentally come across an abandoned hotel. A couple of stray dogs are living in it. The kids decide to fix the place up and have Friday stay with the two strays while they are in school. The boy is gifted with the mind of an inventor and creates some fun features for the dogs. Three more kids join in helping to fix up the hotel for dogs. The kids find more strays to stay at the hotel. And that's all I'll write about. I want to save something for you and your kids about the movie.

Book Review

So a couple of my nephews like the Magic Tree House series. They are chapter books for new readers. I read #12, "Polar Bears Past Bedtime," by Mary Pope Osborne. As an adult it's pretty fast reading. The sentences are not long. Nor do they have a lot of commas which is good for new readers. The story kept going and kept at an even pace. The story is about two children, Annie and Jack, who in past adventures have climbed a magic tree house and have been whisked away to far off places. This time they climb up the magic tree house and the enchantress librarian, Morgan le Fay, has another journey for them to go on and another riddle to solve. She gives them a book on the Arctic. The tree house starts spinning and the children end up in the Arctic. They meet a seal hunter, go on a dogsled ride, see an igloo, play with baby polar bears and learn interesting facts about the Arctic along the way.

out of town

out of town.

Strategies to Reduce Impulsive Behavior for Better Social Interaction, Part I

Curb Impulsive Behavior

Children, as well as adults, do not like to be screamed at or hit. A child who engages in this type of behavior will soon find themselves isolated from their peers. Here are three ways to rein in your child's impulsive behavior for better social interaction. Next week in Part II, I will discuss more ways. They are meant for school age children.

1) During a quiet moment, sit down and talk to your child about situations they find difficult. Share ways they can act differently when they feel the impulse to shout out something inappropriate or push a friend. Find peaceful solutions. By doing this you are showing your child you care about them, the situation, and what they think. If you have trouble coming up with ideas, here's one: When your child feels like pinching, grabbing or hitting someone in anger they should take a deep breath in, and then slowly breathe out. This will give them time to rethink what they were going to do and react differently. In place of the negative physical reaction they wanted to do they can do a different physical action. Like retying a shoe or walking away and getting a drink of water. The time it takes to retie the shoe or get the drink of water will give them an opportunity to calm down. As a parent if you see your child getting deeply frustrated about something, and you think it can lead to physical contact or screaming, calmly say, "It looks like you might need to go get a drink of water. Why don't you take a deep breath in. Then out. And go get some water." It's not really a question, it's a statement. The key words "go get a drink of water" will help your child associate those words with it's time to calm down. Do not yell this statement at your child. They don't need an adult who's not in control when they're not in control. A calm parent is in control. Your child needs your help with controlling themselves so be calm.

2) If your child keeps having problems with impulsive behavior identify things that lead up to it. Find ways to stop the behavior before it happens. After a problem episode do the following during a quite moment that same day: You and your child should reflect together on what happened to cause the incident. If you can identity what went wrong you can plan a strategy for next time so it doesn't happen again. Example: Your son keeps stomping on the foot of a particular boy at school because he teases him. Solution- Get your son to remove himself from any situation where that boy is teasing. Next time your son is near this boy and sees him teasing a classmate with say, a pencil, he should leave. Even if he's in line at the handball court. Leaving will be hard. But it's better then getting in trouble for stomping on someone's foot. Your son should learn to back off. You don't want him growing up and hitting someone in the face because they insulted him in some way. Plus, other boys won't want to play with him if they see him physical hurt others for what they consider only a minor offense. For if he hurts others for being annoying, they might get hurt too.

3) For some children it can help having a squishy ball in their pocket. They can squish the ball when they feel the urge to yell something mean or pinch or hit someone. Squeezing a squishy ball redirects undesired behavior. It is far better your child squeezes their squishy ball 10 times then alienating a classmate by squeezing his arm. Some children need a physical outlet for their feelings. If your child kicks doors, walls or their sibling in anger, redirect this energy with a punching pillow. They can punch it when they are mad or upset. Your child can also let out steam by doing a physical activity. Such as, jumping rope fifty times or a pushing or pulling activity.

Movie Pick

Movie Title: The Spiderwick Chronicles. Children-Magical. Rated PG. Film is based on a series of books by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. Plot: A mother takes her twin sons (Freddie Highmore in dual role) and daughter to live in the country. One of the twins is absolutely miserable about it. Then something exciting happens, the kids find a magical world. I really enjoyed this movie.

Book Pick- Book on Funny Poems

Get your child interested in poems! If you haven't heard of Shel Silverstein, you're missing out on a good laugh. He makes reading poems fun. Children should learn that poems don't have to be boring. Or mushy. Or just for adults. Mr. Silverstein's book "Runny Rabbit" is a great example. The book is full of humorous poems about Runny Rabbit and his animal friends.

Simple outdoor activity to do with your child

Simple outdoor activity to do with your child:

Flower display for outdoor BBQ picnic table.
This is something even a five-year-old can do. Have your child pick three light-weight flowers. Example: two daisy's and a blooming rose. You should cut off the stems and leaves of the flowers. You want only the top of the flower. Have them choose a pretty bowl. Fill the bowl with water. Have your child place the flowers on top of the water. Floating flowers in a pretty dish is an attractive centerpiece.

Book Pick- 4th to 6th grade

Chapter book for older kids.

For some summer fantasy I've picked "The Last Dragon," by Silvana De Mari. An orphaned elf, Yorsh, must go on a dangerous journey to find the world's last dragon. The elf must for-fill a prophecy, that he and the dragon will save the earth from the Dark Age. Though the main character is a boy-elf I think girls will like this book too. It's fast paced enough even for adults.

Article: Bedtime Tips for your Kids

Does your child have trouble going to sleep? Does he or she have problems getting a good night rest? If so, here are some suggestions.

1)Have your child go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time. (Unless they are sick.)

2)If your child needs a nightlight make sure it isn't too bright. Too much light in the room might lead your child to play or read instead of going to sleep. Also, if they are waking up too early, check to see if it's because of morning light shining in their room. To combat this, put up a shade on the window. Or put up a darker one. Shades are also good for the summertime when the sun sets late. Children tend not to like to go to bed when it's light outside. They want to be up. Does this sound familiar, "Why do I have to go to sleep? It's still light out?"

3)There shouldn't be any books, games or toys in your child's bed or else they might want to play with them instead of going to sleep. They can have one or two special snugglies (stuff animals or special blankets) to hug in bed. Their bed should not be covered in stuff animals.

4)Have a routine before bed. Give your child a fifteen minute warning before they start their night time routine. You can call the routine BFJ which stands for Brush teeth, Floss, and put on Jammies (PJ's). You can say, "Sarah, I'm giving you your fifteen minute warning before you have to BFJ." Saying BFJ will quickly remind your child what they have to do.

5)Discourage any rough housing a half an hour to an hour before bed. If your child is jumping around it will be harder to get them to calm down and go to sleep. Stimulating T.V. programs and video games should be avoided. Instead, play a quiet game with them. Or this can be the time in the evenings they take a calming bath or shower. This period is a time to wind down. After their BFJ routine you can let your child read in bed (for kindergartners who can't read they can look at picture books). Also, it would be super if as a parent you can read at least one book to your child, or part of a chapter book, before they go to sleep.

6)If you have two children who sleep in the same room with different bedtimes make sure the child with the later bedtime is quiet when he or she enters the room. They should get their PJ's out of the room earlier so they don't disturb the other child. You can put a stack of PJ's and underwear for the older sibling in the linen closet by the bathroom. This way your child doesn't have to remember every night to get their PJ's out of their drawer before their younger sibling goes to bed.

7)If two siblings share a room and one keeps the other awake by talking you can curb it by making a star chart for the one who's causing the disturbance. However, do not make the rewards on the star chart so great their siblings gets jealous and starts making noise too. You can create the star chart in a way that your child only gets computer time the next day if they don't disturb their sibling the night before. You also can create a star chart for a child who gets out of bed frequently for no reason. This will motivate them to stay in bed.

8)Snoring. I heard of a problem where a father was waking his son up every night with his snoring. The parents had the room next door and had paper thin walls. They also kept their door open at night so they could hear if their son needed help. Additionally, your child could be waking himself up with his own or a sibling's snoring. Find out if snoring could be why your child is waking up at night and getting poor sleep. If you or your husband snore you can try a snoring program, or go see your doctor. The doctor might have you try those stripes that go over the nose to lessen snoring. If any of your children snore ask their pediatrician for advice.

9)It's nice for a child to have a sip of water before going to sleep. But if they drink a glass or two before bed they could be up in the middle of the night going to the bathroom. This interruption of sleep could be why they are tired in the mornings. If this is the case with your child, limit liquid intake before bed. But make sure your child drinks enough liquids during the day. Sometimes a child is just too busy playing to think about getting a glass of water so offer them one.

Movie Review

Movie Title: Shrek. Animated Fantasy. Rated PG. Wonderful movie. Funny. Fast paced enough to keep adults interested. Plot: There was a princess (voice of Cameron Diaz) who needed rescuing. Instead of a prince coming to save her, a kindly green ogre (Mike Myers) does. Along on his mission is a complaining donkey (excellent voice over job done by Eddie Murphy) with enough quips to keep you laughing. Great movie.

Summer Game for Bored Kids

Summer is winding down if you hear "I'm sooo bored, Mom," from your child, play this memory game with them. Parent: Collect different objects from your house. Don't let your child see what you pick. The items should be small enough to fit on a tray, but a couple of bigger items are okay as well. Hair clip, ribbon, cup, book, acorn, tie, key, etc. Depending on the age of your child pick seven to fifteen items. Put the items on the tray. Give your child thirty seconds to look at the items. Then take away tray. Next, have them write down what they saw, or if they can't write yet, have them tell you what they saw. If it was too easy for them, challenge them with less time or more items. At dinner praise their efforts with the game to your husband or wife. You might find if you do this your child will want to play the memory game again. Children like praise. And brain exercises like this are good for children.

Article on Siblings who Fight and Argue

Curb Sibling Fighting Before it gets Out of Hand

Do your children frequently fight? Is it getting out of control? If the answers are yes, let's do something about it.

Identify what leads up to the fighting. Does it begin with one child teasing the other? If so nip it in the bud. Tell the offender that teasing will not be tolerated. Take swift action. The teaser loses computer time or their Ipod for the day. Make your children see you mean business. Do not give second chances. This will help you down the road. Let's say you are in a busy airport. You do not have time to take care of plane tickets and play mediator to a fight. If you frequently give second or third chances there is a good chance the fight will continue longer than if you don't. Your children know from past experiences if you're serious or not. In the end, the faster you can get things under control the better it will be for all. Your kids won't get wound up more and you won't lose your temper.

If you can identify why your children argue or fight you are on your way to solving it, if you choose. Do your children fight when they are grumpy? Then take a moment to think about when it is they get grumpy. Is it right before lunch when they are hungry? Is it after school when they are tuckered out? Or is it the mornings after they have stayed up late?

Ways to solve fighting and arguing due to grumpiness. If your children (toddlers) are grumpy because they are hungry then don't delay daily meals. If you can't help it because you're in a store at least carry snacks to tide your children over. For after school grumpiness, have your children relax in different rooms, or at least in seperate areas. Do not let them share a couch. This is because even if you put them on separate sides you might turn your back and find one close to the other, annoying them. For morning after a big night grumpiness, solve it by keeping to a bed time. If it's a special occasion and you choose to let your children stay up late then you need to be patient with them the next day. Remember it was YOU who chose to let them stay up late. You can be gentle but firm. "You need to pull it together buddy." Also, have them take a nap and/or go to bed early that night.

In conclusion, if your children fight over food, toys, etc, take action early. Stop the fighting quickly so it doesn't have time to escalate. For your own sanity don't ignore it until it's too late.

Summer Car Tip for Seat Belts

For parked cars on hot days: If you have young children make sure the metal on their seat belt isn't hot before you click them in. Hot metal can burn skin. Try to park your car in the shade when it's really hot out. And carry a thick white towel (white reflects) in your car and place it over the metal part of the seat belt so it won't get as hot.

Movie Pick

This week's movie pick is Finding Nemo. An Animation film by Pixar. Rated G. About: An underwater adventure about two fish, Marlin (voice of Albert Brooks) and Dory (voice of Ellen DeGeneres) who look for Marlin's missing son. My nephews loved this movie when they saw it. Recommended for kids!

Tips for Long Car Rides

Article: Help when Traveling by Car with Kids

Traveling with children can be difficult. Here are a few tips to make it easier.

1) Have your children go to the bathroom before they get in the car. If they say they don't have to go, get them to try anyway. It's surprising how many do go when they get to the bathroom. Do not encourage your children to drink two glasses of any liquid before they get in the car. Unless you don't mind stopping often for them to go to the bathroom.

2) Okay, don't boo me, but this really helps for long car rides. Especially, if you normally limit T.V. viewing time with your children. If you have a van with a built-in DVD player get a few movies to watch. Pick ones your children are really excited about so they will be more inclined to watch them. If you get a movie one child has seen twenty times before, they might get bored and start bothering their brother.

3) Buy or go to the library and get some books on tape to fill in the time. If your children like to sing get some sing-along tapes. Some children like funny sing-along tapes other prefer folk songs. Maybe get a variety. Also, if your children can read in the car without getting sick (I know few children who can for long periods), then buy or check out some new books. If a child wants to try reading in the car but tends to get sick have a sick bag close by. If you checked out items from the library make sure you keep them in a safe place so they don't get lost. I.e., their own bag, or daily make sure you know where they are.

4) Put items your children are going to occupy themselves with in a backpack. Each child should have their own backpack. Ask them what they would like to put in it. If they like to draw, put paper, coloring books and crayons in their bag. No pens or pencils. While driving if you stop quickly they could poke themselves in the eye with the pen or pencil. Don't pack scissors or other sharp objects either. Items you might want to pack: Mad Libs, dot-dot books, mini-games, hand held electronic games, little toys, and small stuffed animals. The little toys should not have sharp points. Another thing I want to point out for safety reasons: There's always a chance with any object that your child holds that if you stop quickly the object could hit their throat. Now maybe a soft stuffed animal wouldn't do any harm, but a sharp corner of a hardback book could. So you can pack softback books and other soft items if you are concerned.

5) Have a time schedule. Let's say you are driving to San Francisco and it will take you four hours to get there. You have the option to A) Drive later in the evening when your children might sleep through the car trip or B) drive while your children are awake, which means you need to plan activities.

Plan A) Night trip. Make sure your children have gone to the bathroom and are in their P.J's before you put them in the car. That way you don't have to wake them up for extra pee breaks, and you won't have to deal with putting on their PJ's when you get to your destination. Make sure your children are feed, have their snuggle toy with them, and anything else they might need. Have a few toys handy in case they wake up. And a small blanket to cover them with if the inside of the car gets cold.

Plan B) Day travel. Try to avoid leaving when you could get caught in heavy traffic. Map a route where there are rest areas, or a least a park or gas station to stop at. If you let your children have sweets you can dole out one tiny flavored jelly bean every hour. If they aren't allowed sweets, pick a healthy little treat they like. Your children will have something to look forward to during the long car ride. It can make the trip seem to go faster, by breaking the time up in hour installments. This is for school age children. (You can try round tiny chocolates that you buy in a snack bag. But they tend to melt and get your child's hand sticky). For safety reasons I must point out you should stop the car at least at a gas station to give your children the treats. If they're given them while you're driving on the highway what happens if one of them chokes? You don't want to get in an accident trying maneuver your car off the road so you can apply CPR to your child. This said, I know someone who gives jelly beans every half hour to her school age kids while her car is in motion. She says her kids do better getting a jelly bean every half hour and she doesn't like making extra pit stops. If you do this, and I'm not saying you should! you should have two adults in the car in order that one can keep an eye out while your children eat. You also should know CPR. For safety reasons children really shouldn’t eat in the car while it's in motion. Think of this. You're in the front seat and they're in the back. You can't see them unless you are turned around looking. If you're not, they could be choking and you wouldn't know. A sudden jerk of the car could have caused food to get lodged in their throat. Beware. Also, do not let your children suck on hard candy (jaw breakers, etc) or lollipops in the car. Once again, if you stop quickly, the hard candy can get lodged in their throat. As far as the lollipop, it could hit the back of their throat and cause true harm. That is why children should not ever run around with lollipops in their mouths.

Time to leave for the car trip: Everyone has gone to the bathroom and has their own bag of toys and books where they can reach them. Buckle up and let's go.
First half of trip:
11-11:30a.m. = Play a book on tape. (This is good for you so you can get focused on where you are going and what route you are taking.)
11:30-12p.m. = Whole family plays the word game Twenty Questions. And/or I Spy. If extra time, look for out-of-state license plates or for a certain type of car or yellow cars.
At noon, bathroom break and stretch at gas station. Dole out tiny flavored jelly bean. (The child gets what they get, no arguing.)
12:15-12:45 = Child occupies him/herself with what is in their bag/backpack.
12:45-1:15 = A few rounds of Mad Libs, the whole family joining in.
At 1:15 = Jelly bean and lunch at rest area. Let your children run around and get energy out. Chase them to get them going. Play Freeze Tag or You're It.
Second half of trip:
2-2:30 = Second half of the book on tape. This will get them settled down.
2:30-3 = Child occupies him/herself with what is in their bag/backpack.
3 p.m., Gas station jelly bean break.
3:10-3:40 = Each member of the family tells others about their favorite trip. If extra time pick something else to talk about. What you plan to do on the vacation, etc.
3:40-4:10 = Sing-along tapes. Or if your child is too old, play music they like. Everyone can sing along. Or not.
It's 4:10 you should be at your destination. Last jelly bean.

You don't have to be rigid about the schedule. See how things are going and make changes accordingly. If your trip is for five and a half hours or six, and you have a van with a DVD player, play a movie for the extra time.