Book Review:
Chapter book for older kids (4th to 6th grade):
"The Secret Garden," by Frances Hodgson Burnett should be an enjoyable summer read. It's a classic. The story takes place in England. It revolves around an orphan named Mary, her cousin, Colin, and a friend, Dickon. Mary comes to live with her emotionally distant uncle in his mansion after her parents die. (The uncle also likes to leave unexpectedly which both his son and Mary find disconcerting.) Mary along with the two boys have some pleasant times in a secret garden. Because of Mary her uncle gets a new leash on life. The characters personalities are all different and because of this it helps the story move along in an interesting manner.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Parenting Article about ADHD
Let's Accentuate the Positive Characteristics of Children with ADHD for a Change!
Just to Let you Know some Famous people have had ADHD.
Instead of focusing on the problems correlated with having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, let's take a break from this pattern of thinking and look at the positive qualities that co-exist with it. Children with ADHD can be curious, bright, energetic, creative, imaginative, funny, athletic, go-getters, and have a zest for life that our past U.S. President, Teddy Roosevelt, would be envious of. I believe this because as a former nanny I've dealt with children with ADHD. Plus, I have a brother and a father who were both hyperactive as children. In fact, my father who's in his eighties is still on the go and as smart as a whip. Believe it or not, he was still running in races into his early eighties. I don't know if he won many races as a child, but he sure has won a lot in his golden years. He has a string of first place medals for the 70+ age category and enough vim and vigor which people half his age wish they could have. But as for your child, his or her senior years are a long way off. The point is, there are positive attributes that go along with the challenges of having ADHD.
These positive aspects can be evident now and then can continue into your child's adult life. Is he or she creative? This creativity can show up in their present drawings or dance, and later in life when they choose an occupation. Maybe they'll be a top-notch choreographer or graphic artist. If your child has impulsive behavior and difficulty sitting still, stop and think how you can re-channel this energy. Find constructive outlets. Does your child like to run? Dance? Play tennis? Find out and get them involved. Going with this train of thought if your child has an endless amount of curiosity, discover what really fascinates them. Do they like bugs? Building model planes? Then nurture it, safely. You might have a budding entomologist or inventor in your home. Is your child extremely imaginative? Get them some large paper and paints and let them go at it, or give them a pen and have them jot down stories. Does your child have a flare for comedy or dramatics? Do they crave attention? Put them in acting classes. Who knows maybe when they grow up they'll be a first rate comic, actor, or trial attorney. (I kid you not. I knew someone who as a child was very hyperactive and argumentative. He also liked to be the center of attention. He found his calling. Being a trial lawyer.)
Last remarks: If you're the parent of a child with ADHD who consistently complains to them about their behavior this can be counter productive. If you tell them over and over that their behavior is obnoxious or annoying, what do you expect it to be? Try substituting positive words for the negative ones. Instead of saying, "Stop being hyper and annoying," say, "Be calm. Be polite." Children will grow into how you see them. Also, try these things: Praise your child when you see them working on their frustration, anger or manners. Look at what they have to offer the world. Are they kind? Considerate? Enthusiastic? How about every once in awhile both you and your child step outside the ADHD box and look inside it. I bet you'll both be surprised how many pleasant revelations there are if you really look.
Just to Let you Know some Famous people have had ADHD.
Instead of focusing on the problems correlated with having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, let's take a break from this pattern of thinking and look at the positive qualities that co-exist with it. Children with ADHD can be curious, bright, energetic, creative, imaginative, funny, athletic, go-getters, and have a zest for life that our past U.S. President, Teddy Roosevelt, would be envious of. I believe this because as a former nanny I've dealt with children with ADHD. Plus, I have a brother and a father who were both hyperactive as children. In fact, my father who's in his eighties is still on the go and as smart as a whip. Believe it or not, he was still running in races into his early eighties. I don't know if he won many races as a child, but he sure has won a lot in his golden years. He has a string of first place medals for the 70+ age category and enough vim and vigor which people half his age wish they could have. But as for your child, his or her senior years are a long way off. The point is, there are positive attributes that go along with the challenges of having ADHD.
These positive aspects can be evident now and then can continue into your child's adult life. Is he or she creative? This creativity can show up in their present drawings or dance, and later in life when they choose an occupation. Maybe they'll be a top-notch choreographer or graphic artist. If your child has impulsive behavior and difficulty sitting still, stop and think how you can re-channel this energy. Find constructive outlets. Does your child like to run? Dance? Play tennis? Find out and get them involved. Going with this train of thought if your child has an endless amount of curiosity, discover what really fascinates them. Do they like bugs? Building model planes? Then nurture it, safely. You might have a budding entomologist or inventor in your home. Is your child extremely imaginative? Get them some large paper and paints and let them go at it, or give them a pen and have them jot down stories. Does your child have a flare for comedy or dramatics? Do they crave attention? Put them in acting classes. Who knows maybe when they grow up they'll be a first rate comic, actor, or trial attorney. (I kid you not. I knew someone who as a child was very hyperactive and argumentative. He also liked to be the center of attention. He found his calling. Being a trial lawyer.)
Last remarks: If you're the parent of a child with ADHD who consistently complains to them about their behavior this can be counter productive. If you tell them over and over that their behavior is obnoxious or annoying, what do you expect it to be? Try substituting positive words for the negative ones. Instead of saying, "Stop being hyper and annoying," say, "Be calm. Be polite." Children will grow into how you see them. Also, try these things: Praise your child when you see them working on their frustration, anger or manners. Look at what they have to offer the world. Are they kind? Considerate? Enthusiastic? How about every once in awhile both you and your child step outside the ADHD box and look inside it. I bet you'll both be surprised how many pleasant revelations there are if you really look.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Movie Review
Movie Title: Goonies. Comedy-Adventure. Rated PG. In a nutshell, a boy and his friends discover a pirate map and go on quest to find the treasure. Some funny scenes. Charming kid movie. Both boys and girls should like it. Not for very young kids like seven-years-old. They might be taken aback by a couple of scenes.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Family Activity
Go on a nature hike. Hunt for roly-polies, lizards, newts, ladybugs, grasshoppers, beetles, butterflies, etc. whatever wildlife is in your region. You can check out a bird book from your library and find bird species. You can stop and have a picnic. You can put colored pencils and paper in your backpack. Then your children can draw pretty pictures of nature when you stop for lunch. If you plan to picnic on the ground, bring lightweight, hardback picture books to place the drawing paper on. It will make drawing easier.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Article: Tips to Get Your Child to Focus Better with Homework
As a former nanny, I thought I'd share a couple of tips for children who have a difficult time focusing on their homework. This can be helpful for children with ADD or ADHD.
Tip #1: Homework should be done in a place that is comfortable but has the least amount of simulation, visually and audibly. A bedroom where toys are can be a distraction. I suggest you pick the barest room possible where no one is talking and where the radio, computer and television are all completely turned off. If you have two children, put them in different rooms. I've found that children find dining rooms generally boring, and therefore are less likely to look about so much and get up to touch things. If you have knick-knacks around, move them.
Tip #2: Limit the time your child spends on a homework task. If the math they brought home would normally take half hour for a child who can concentrate well, your child might need three 15 minute time periods. Use an oven or egg timer to count down the time. After 15 minutes, let your child take a short break. They can stretch, do jumping jacks, eat a snack or some other small respite. Do not encourage a board game or watching T.V. This break is only meant to be a breather. So they can learn to refocus. Do not get frustrated if your child has trouble with any of the 15 minute intervals. If need be cut down to ten minutes. It is far better to get something done in ten minutes, than for him or her get almost nothing done in forty-five minutes. It's not worth the aggravation. To either of you.
Remember if you're getting frustrated about the homework situation you're not adding anything positive to it. If need be go to another room, count to ten or twenty and calmly come back in and check on your child. If they're daydreaming, playing with their pencil, flipping on and off the light switch… gently remind your child to stay on task. (You can always tape the cover of your light switch shut.) If you would like, you can at another time though not a hectic one (you're running late for school), talk to your child about small rewards for staying on task. You can have a bag of marbles and every time your child focuses on their homework for 15 minutes they get to put a marble in a jar (5 marbles can equal a special game with you or 15 minutes of computer time). This means even if your child doesn't stay on task for all three 15 minute time periods, they're still rewarded for the one or two times they do. It gives them motivation and a positive outlook they can indeed focus. Do not reinforce that they can't focus. Most children can focus in varying degrees.
If your child is seriously struggling to get their homework done and can't, please talk to their teacher about shortening their homework. Maybe instead of doing 30 math problems, your child can do 10. I believe if your child is having a really difficult time focusing on their homework, there's a strong likelihood they're also having a difficult time focusing on their schoolwork as well. A conscientious teacher will pick up on this and want to work with you. If you don't have a teacher who will work with you I encourage you to meet with your principle. You're your child’s voice.
Point to think about: I know of lawyers today who didn't finish their homework back in grade school and junior high, who SOMEHOW managed to finish law school and pass the bar. The lesson here: Finishing grade school and junior high homework is not the be all and end all to your child's future. So stop making it like it's the end of world if they can't finish it; especially if they're trying to the best of THEIR ability. Please note how I wrote "their" ability and not "yours."
Tip #1: Homework should be done in a place that is comfortable but has the least amount of simulation, visually and audibly. A bedroom where toys are can be a distraction. I suggest you pick the barest room possible where no one is talking and where the radio, computer and television are all completely turned off. If you have two children, put them in different rooms. I've found that children find dining rooms generally boring, and therefore are less likely to look about so much and get up to touch things. If you have knick-knacks around, move them.
Tip #2: Limit the time your child spends on a homework task. If the math they brought home would normally take half hour for a child who can concentrate well, your child might need three 15 minute time periods. Use an oven or egg timer to count down the time. After 15 minutes, let your child take a short break. They can stretch, do jumping jacks, eat a snack or some other small respite. Do not encourage a board game or watching T.V. This break is only meant to be a breather. So they can learn to refocus. Do not get frustrated if your child has trouble with any of the 15 minute intervals. If need be cut down to ten minutes. It is far better to get something done in ten minutes, than for him or her get almost nothing done in forty-five minutes. It's not worth the aggravation. To either of you.
Remember if you're getting frustrated about the homework situation you're not adding anything positive to it. If need be go to another room, count to ten or twenty and calmly come back in and check on your child. If they're daydreaming, playing with their pencil, flipping on and off the light switch… gently remind your child to stay on task. (You can always tape the cover of your light switch shut.) If you would like, you can at another time though not a hectic one (you're running late for school), talk to your child about small rewards for staying on task. You can have a bag of marbles and every time your child focuses on their homework for 15 minutes they get to put a marble in a jar (5 marbles can equal a special game with you or 15 minutes of computer time). This means even if your child doesn't stay on task for all three 15 minute time periods, they're still rewarded for the one or two times they do. It gives them motivation and a positive outlook they can indeed focus. Do not reinforce that they can't focus. Most children can focus in varying degrees.
If your child is seriously struggling to get their homework done and can't, please talk to their teacher about shortening their homework. Maybe instead of doing 30 math problems, your child can do 10. I believe if your child is having a really difficult time focusing on their homework, there's a strong likelihood they're also having a difficult time focusing on their schoolwork as well. A conscientious teacher will pick up on this and want to work with you. If you don't have a teacher who will work with you I encourage you to meet with your principle. You're your child’s voice.
Point to think about: I know of lawyers today who didn't finish their homework back in grade school and junior high, who SOMEHOW managed to finish law school and pass the bar. The lesson here: Finishing grade school and junior high homework is not the be all and end all to your child's future. So stop making it like it's the end of world if they can't finish it; especially if they're trying to the best of THEIR ability. Please note how I wrote "their" ability and not "yours."
Friday, July 24, 2009
Book Review
Today's book pick is "Frindle." It's a chapter book for new readers. The whole concept of the book is intriguing. Why is a pen called a pen? Why not call it frindle instead? A boy name Nick starts calling a pen a frindle and gets his friends to take an oath to do the same. But the adults don't like it. Have your child read the book to find out what happens next. A fun book where your kids could learn something useful.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Movie Review
Movie Title: Captain January. Musical. For kids and other Shirley Temple fans. Colored & Black and White version. Rated G. Shirley Temple sings and dances herself right into your heart. No wonderful why she was so popular back in the 1930's. Ms. Temple plays, Star, a mop-headed orphan who contently lives with, Captain January, known as Cap. Cap is a kind-hearted lighthouse keeper who fished Star out of the sea a long time ago. But he hasn't enrolled Star in school. Instead, the little girl hangs out with sailors. The town's new truant officer Ms. Morgan, a spoiled-sport (I say this tongue and cheek), decides Star needs to go to school. Star finally goes, but Ms. Morgan tries to get her removed from Captain January anyway when he loses his job.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Classy Summer Centerpiece for Table
Let your child pick a beautiful orchid from a orchid plant you have or from a store. This will be used as a table centerpiece. Put the orchid in a clear vase of water. Filling the water over the orchid. You can put sparking stones on the bottom of the vase. Or for a more stunning centerpiece, get a tall, round vase and put a three steamed orchid in it. Make sure water goes over all three orchids and to the top of the vase. Makes a very classy flower display.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Article: How to Deal with a Child who has Out-Bursts
How to Deal with a Child who has Out-Bursts
Do you have a child who is as normal as can be and sweet as pie one minute, but the moment you say they can't have something they have an over the top explosion? As a former nanny here's my two cents on how to help children who have such volcano like behavior eruptions. During the outburst try to remain as calm as possible. Keep to your no and don't negotiate. If you don't, you're setting yourself up for further flare-ups and more negotiations. Let's face it when your child grows up and his or her boss says the work at hand needs to be done by tomorrow, flying off the handle to the boss will not solve the problem. Nor will the boss want to negotiate. I believe a child's young life is practice for the real world. As a parent it is your job to make sure your child is as best prepared for it as possible.
Now back to the topic at hand. If your child has frequent outbursts about certain things, such as, every time you go the grocery store they scream they NEED gum, you have two choices. Go to the grocery store at a time when you don't have to take your child or stick to your no they can't have gum. A child will only push and push if they know there's a chance you will give in. Or give them something else. Let's visit a different situation. Your child wants to stay at a friend's house when it time to go home. You say no it's time to go home and have dinner. Your child vehemently disagrees with a loud, "BUT I WANT TO STAY!" You can try to reason up the kazoo with your child about how it's not polite to overstay a visit. But let's face it, your child doesn't care. He or she only cares about staying. And be sensible, you're not reasoning with an adult your dealing with a child. Children are not mini-adults. That's why they're called kids. I have found some parents like to reason "to" their child about a situation because it makes them, the adult, feel better. But this is not about you; it's about your child.
If your child frequently has outbursts about coming home from a play date, or some other similar situation, instead of complaining about it and driving yourself crazy, just stop having play dates for awhile. Explain to your child why. You should do this at a time when they aren't upset. If they start yelling or hitting you because of this, you can tell them this is why you're doing it. Having outbursts which are motivated purely for manipulative purposes should not be tolerated. It won't be when they are adults. You can tell them in a month you can revisit the situation if they are willing to come home without a fuss. If they have a fuss again, do not bribe them to stop the behavior. Do not reward unacceptable behavior. Unless you want it to continue. Bottom line be firm about your decisions. And make sure your spouse is on track with you. And backs you up. Do not undermine each other.
Now, there are times when a child has a right to be upset. Such as all week they're looking forward to having a friend come over and the friend can't come. If your child starts screaming and having a tantrum, remain calm. You can soothe them, but in life they can't have everything they want. Remember children mimic the adults they are around. Do you totally lose it when a friend suddenly can't play tennis with you or when you lose a client? If your child sees such reactions from you they will think having such outbursts are normal. If you don't want certain behavior from your child don't have it yourself.
I'll be honest, most children I've seen who have completely out of control tantrums it's not their first time having one. The key is to be prepared. When your child is having a melt down long winded reasoning or pleading with them about the situation can be like pouring oil on a fire. It won't help. So why do it? You're just stressing how bad the situation is. Like I mentioned, being prepared is the key. If you know your child has outbursts pick a relaxing time to talk to him or her about it. Share ways he or she can harness their rage. Feeling upset is okay, but having physical outbursts is not okay. Simplistic ways for moderate outbursts can be: Counting backwards with your child, saying the alphabet in a funny rhyme, learning how to breathe deeply from the chest and slowly exhaling 10 times. The focus here is to take the mind off the outburst. Having a game plan before the outburst occurs is really what it's about. But remember if your child has been having serious outbursts for some time, it will take time to change their behavior. It takes time to rewire already patterned behavior. But it's worth doing. For your child. And for their future in society.
If you have a child who has outbursts, is out of control, disrespectful check out the
Total Transformation Program. Below are two reviews (individual results can vary).
Five out of Five Stars. Parents Who Desperately Need a Transformation!, June 14, 2009 Review by : ers
This program is a God send. Our kids have gradually become unbelievably out of control...and they are only 4 and 9 years of age. At first my husband and I were not in agreement about use Total Transformation, but now my husband is on board. I have done the first two lessons, and he is on the first lesson. So, we have a way to go. But the advice so far is so good. We even shared some info with our marriage counselor and he thought it sounded great and asked to see the program for himself! Thank you so much!
Five out of Five Stars. helpful hints, June 22, 2009 Review by : hawaii momma
I love the direct and sensible teaching method that the Total Transformation uses. No beating around the bush...just direct communication and techniques that really work. My husband has been using all of the techniques as I go through the program with him and it has made such a difference. Mahalo!
Do you have a child who is as normal as can be and sweet as pie one minute, but the moment you say they can't have something they have an over the top explosion? As a former nanny here's my two cents on how to help children who have such volcano like behavior eruptions. During the outburst try to remain as calm as possible. Keep to your no and don't negotiate. If you don't, you're setting yourself up for further flare-ups and more negotiations. Let's face it when your child grows up and his or her boss says the work at hand needs to be done by tomorrow, flying off the handle to the boss will not solve the problem. Nor will the boss want to negotiate. I believe a child's young life is practice for the real world. As a parent it is your job to make sure your child is as best prepared for it as possible.
Now back to the topic at hand. If your child has frequent outbursts about certain things, such as, every time you go the grocery store they scream they NEED gum, you have two choices. Go to the grocery store at a time when you don't have to take your child or stick to your no they can't have gum. A child will only push and push if they know there's a chance you will give in. Or give them something else. Let's visit a different situation. Your child wants to stay at a friend's house when it time to go home. You say no it's time to go home and have dinner. Your child vehemently disagrees with a loud, "BUT I WANT TO STAY!" You can try to reason up the kazoo with your child about how it's not polite to overstay a visit. But let's face it, your child doesn't care. He or she only cares about staying. And be sensible, you're not reasoning with an adult your dealing with a child. Children are not mini-adults. That's why they're called kids. I have found some parents like to reason "to" their child about a situation because it makes them, the adult, feel better. But this is not about you; it's about your child.
If your child frequently has outbursts about coming home from a play date, or some other similar situation, instead of complaining about it and driving yourself crazy, just stop having play dates for awhile. Explain to your child why. You should do this at a time when they aren't upset. If they start yelling or hitting you because of this, you can tell them this is why you're doing it. Having outbursts which are motivated purely for manipulative purposes should not be tolerated. It won't be when they are adults. You can tell them in a month you can revisit the situation if they are willing to come home without a fuss. If they have a fuss again, do not bribe them to stop the behavior. Do not reward unacceptable behavior. Unless you want it to continue. Bottom line be firm about your decisions. And make sure your spouse is on track with you. And backs you up. Do not undermine each other.
Now, there are times when a child has a right to be upset. Such as all week they're looking forward to having a friend come over and the friend can't come. If your child starts screaming and having a tantrum, remain calm. You can soothe them, but in life they can't have everything they want. Remember children mimic the adults they are around. Do you totally lose it when a friend suddenly can't play tennis with you or when you lose a client? If your child sees such reactions from you they will think having such outbursts are normal. If you don't want certain behavior from your child don't have it yourself.
I'll be honest, most children I've seen who have completely out of control tantrums it's not their first time having one. The key is to be prepared. When your child is having a melt down long winded reasoning or pleading with them about the situation can be like pouring oil on a fire. It won't help. So why do it? You're just stressing how bad the situation is. Like I mentioned, being prepared is the key. If you know your child has outbursts pick a relaxing time to talk to him or her about it. Share ways he or she can harness their rage. Feeling upset is okay, but having physical outbursts is not okay. Simplistic ways for moderate outbursts can be: Counting backwards with your child, saying the alphabet in a funny rhyme, learning how to breathe deeply from the chest and slowly exhaling 10 times. The focus here is to take the mind off the outburst. Having a game plan before the outburst occurs is really what it's about. But remember if your child has been having serious outbursts for some time, it will take time to change their behavior. It takes time to rewire already patterned behavior. But it's worth doing. For your child. And for their future in society.
If you have a child who has outbursts, is out of control, disrespectful check out the
Total Transformation Program. Below are two reviews (individual results can vary).
Five out of Five Stars. Parents Who Desperately Need a Transformation!, June 14, 2009 Review by : ers
This program is a God send. Our kids have gradually become unbelievably out of control...and they are only 4 and 9 years of age. At first my husband and I were not in agreement about use Total Transformation, but now my husband is on board. I have done the first two lessons, and he is on the first lesson. So, we have a way to go. But the advice so far is so good. We even shared some info with our marriage counselor and he thought it sounded great and asked to see the program for himself! Thank you so much!
Five out of Five Stars. helpful hints, June 22, 2009 Review by : hawaii momma
I love the direct and sensible teaching method that the Total Transformation uses. No beating around the bush...just direct communication and techniques that really work. My husband has been using all of the techniques as I go through the program with him and it has made such a difference. Mahalo!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Swimsuit and Pool Tip
Summer is here and in full swing. Did I buy a new bathing suit this season? No, I'm cheap. Besides, why should I? My swimsuit has lasted quite awhile. Why? I take it off as soon as possible after swimming in a pool and rinse it out in cold water. Chlorine can be harsh on a swimsuit and fade it. If chorine is harsh on swimsuits think how harsh it can be on your children's skin! Have them rinse off immediately after swimming in a chlorinated pool. And remember put sunscreen on your children, even if they're in the pool and it is overcast. For sensitive children you can have them wear a light colored T-shirt over their swimsuit. After showering have them pat themselves dry. But have them keep a little water on their arms and legs. They should mix lotion with the water on their skin and then rub in. This will help to prevent dry skin.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Book Review for new Readers
Book review for this week: For new readers.
"Great Day for UP," is a book written by Dr. Seuss. Pictures are by Quentine Blake. I like this book because it uses the word UP on every written page at least once, except for two pages. Many times the word UP is used two or three times on a page. I find this repetition great for new readers. It gives them confidence that they can indeed quickly identify certain words.
"Great Day for UP," is a book written by Dr. Seuss. Pictures are by Quentine Blake. I like this book because it uses the word UP on every written page at least once, except for two pages. Many times the word UP is used two or three times on a page. I find this repetition great for new readers. It gives them confidence that they can indeed quickly identify certain words.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Article: How to Deal with a Death of a Pet with Children
How to Deal with a Death of a Pet with Children
The death of a pet can be very sad. It's made more difficult with young children because they have a hard time understanding death. Explaining it can be tough. If you tell your five-year-old their cat has passed on they might be clueless as to what "passed on" means. "Lucky, passed on where, Mom? Did she go across the street?" Even if you use the word death, young children have a hard time grasping how long death is. If you explain to your child that death means a long period of time you still might get, "Does that mean Spot will come back in three weeks?" Three weeks is a long time to a five-year-old. At age six I still couldn't understand how long summer was. My older brother showed me a calendar and flipped up three pages saying that's how long it was. That helped. Some. At least I knew it was for a long time. You actually have to tell your child their beloved pet will not be coming back. You can't pussy foot around death. Death is final. You do not want your child to think an animal is coming back if it's not. Please do not tell your child that Pickles went to live on a big farm in Idaho if Pickles died. This is a lie and serves no purpose. And your lie can be exposed. However, if your family's belief system is that there is an afterlife you can tell your child you believe Fluffy is in Heaven. This is a belief. It differs from "Pickles went to live in Idaho." This statement is a lie because you're purposely being deceptive. It's a deliberate falsehood. You know Pickles did not go there.
Children grieve in different ways. One of your children might sob, another could pester you with questions, and your last child might get real quiet and refuse to talk. Each child has their own personality. And because of that each had a different relationship with the deceased pet. Moreover, one child could have been closer to the family pet than another. Did the pet sleep in bed with them? It won't anymore. And that's sad. Be kind. Don't brush away your child's feeling and tell them to buck up. If you offer to take them for ice cream to cheer them up, do NOT renege on it if they say no. They might be feeling so heartsick they can't eat right now. Take your child in a week.
The death of a family dog can be very upsetting to a child. Especially if it was an indoor dog. House dogs interact with the family more. Therefore, children will get more attached to them. So be there for your child. Have a shoulder for them to cry on. Let them know it is okay to grieve. Even if you as a parent weren't particularly close to the family pet be empathetic. Give extra hugs. Ask your child if they would like to create a photo album of Shaggy. Write near each picture the occasion, what's happening, and with whom. On the last page you can attach a note with something like, "We love you Shaggy! Thanks for being our dog and loving us. You were much appreciated." Or "Shaggy, you'll be missed. You'll be in our hearts always." Or your child can write a personal letter to their dog and sign their name. They can put the letter in a picture pocket of the album to be shared years later. Remember dogs give unconditional love. They love you whether you're rich, poor, short, tall, dress well, or are unkempt. There is maybe one string attached to their love, which is "be kind to me." Unlike humans they don't have worldly "expectations" of how you should be. They love you just as you are. And older children know this. Their dog loved them just as they were. If your child had a particular hard day and was naughty, and you punished them, Shaggy was still a ready friend. He was ready to give a consoling lick on the face. On the worst of days a child really needs a cuddle. Shaggy was there to be hugged close and to listen to grievances against you. He didn't judge. He just loved.
Some children like to have a small memorial service for their pet. I've been to many pet services in backyards. Fish. Hamster. Rat. Turtle. Lizard. Depending on where you live, bigger pets, such as dogs or cats, have to be buried in a pet cemetery or be taken to a place to be cremated. You should check. You can still have a small memorial service. The memorial can be just sharing good memories. "Remember how Rover would lay down low and sneak over to the counter and steal pizza?" Then it was a pain, now it's a funny memory. Maybe one child will draw a picture of good times with Rover. Another child might read a poem they wrote. A memorial service provides closure. Which is important. That's why saying your pet went to live in Idaho when he didn't is wrong. There is no closure.
The death of a pet can be very sad. It's made more difficult with young children because they have a hard time understanding death. Explaining it can be tough. If you tell your five-year-old their cat has passed on they might be clueless as to what "passed on" means. "Lucky, passed on where, Mom? Did she go across the street?" Even if you use the word death, young children have a hard time grasping how long death is. If you explain to your child that death means a long period of time you still might get, "Does that mean Spot will come back in three weeks?" Three weeks is a long time to a five-year-old. At age six I still couldn't understand how long summer was. My older brother showed me a calendar and flipped up three pages saying that's how long it was. That helped. Some. At least I knew it was for a long time. You actually have to tell your child their beloved pet will not be coming back. You can't pussy foot around death. Death is final. You do not want your child to think an animal is coming back if it's not. Please do not tell your child that Pickles went to live on a big farm in Idaho if Pickles died. This is a lie and serves no purpose. And your lie can be exposed. However, if your family's belief system is that there is an afterlife you can tell your child you believe Fluffy is in Heaven. This is a belief. It differs from "Pickles went to live in Idaho." This statement is a lie because you're purposely being deceptive. It's a deliberate falsehood. You know Pickles did not go there.
Children grieve in different ways. One of your children might sob, another could pester you with questions, and your last child might get real quiet and refuse to talk. Each child has their own personality. And because of that each had a different relationship with the deceased pet. Moreover, one child could have been closer to the family pet than another. Did the pet sleep in bed with them? It won't anymore. And that's sad. Be kind. Don't brush away your child's feeling and tell them to buck up. If you offer to take them for ice cream to cheer them up, do NOT renege on it if they say no. They might be feeling so heartsick they can't eat right now. Take your child in a week.
The death of a family dog can be very upsetting to a child. Especially if it was an indoor dog. House dogs interact with the family more. Therefore, children will get more attached to them. So be there for your child. Have a shoulder for them to cry on. Let them know it is okay to grieve. Even if you as a parent weren't particularly close to the family pet be empathetic. Give extra hugs. Ask your child if they would like to create a photo album of Shaggy. Write near each picture the occasion, what's happening, and with whom. On the last page you can attach a note with something like, "We love you Shaggy! Thanks for being our dog and loving us. You were much appreciated." Or "Shaggy, you'll be missed. You'll be in our hearts always." Or your child can write a personal letter to their dog and sign their name. They can put the letter in a picture pocket of the album to be shared years later. Remember dogs give unconditional love. They love you whether you're rich, poor, short, tall, dress well, or are unkempt. There is maybe one string attached to their love, which is "be kind to me." Unlike humans they don't have worldly "expectations" of how you should be. They love you just as you are. And older children know this. Their dog loved them just as they were. If your child had a particular hard day and was naughty, and you punished them, Shaggy was still a ready friend. He was ready to give a consoling lick on the face. On the worst of days a child really needs a cuddle. Shaggy was there to be hugged close and to listen to grievances against you. He didn't judge. He just loved.
Some children like to have a small memorial service for their pet. I've been to many pet services in backyards. Fish. Hamster. Rat. Turtle. Lizard. Depending on where you live, bigger pets, such as dogs or cats, have to be buried in a pet cemetery or be taken to a place to be cremated. You should check. You can still have a small memorial service. The memorial can be just sharing good memories. "Remember how Rover would lay down low and sneak over to the counter and steal pizza?" Then it was a pain, now it's a funny memory. Maybe one child will draw a picture of good times with Rover. Another child might read a poem they wrote. A memorial service provides closure. Which is important. That's why saying your pet went to live in Idaho when he didn't is wrong. There is no closure.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Family Movie pick for young kids
This is this week's movie pick. It's great for young kids.
Movie Title: The Muppets Take Manhattan. Puppet Musical. Rated G. Kermit the frog and pretty Ms. Piggy take the gang to New York City. They find a Broadway backer to produce a show the Muppet troupe wants to put on.
Movie Title: The Muppets Take Manhattan. Puppet Musical. Rated G. Kermit the frog and pretty Ms. Piggy take the gang to New York City. They find a Broadway backer to produce a show the Muppet troupe wants to put on.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Family Activity
Family Activity: Grow a garden for Autumn pumpkins, carrots, lettuce (look for vegetables that will grow in your climate). Children like to watch things grow. Pick a patch of dirt in your yard. Till the area. You might have to add better soil. Seed. Note: Seeds germinate faster in warm weather. Add a netting over area once seeds sprout if you live in a hot climate. Water. Weed when necessary. To keep small critters from snack'n on your vegetables put chicken wire around garden patch, and over it if you know they are pesky.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Parenting Article about Teens
Be Tough, Get Your Teen to Start Behaving Today!
Last month, as I was walking my dog, I passed my niece's high school where the students park their cars. I saw a shiny new black sports car with a license plate rim with something to this effect: I SAW. I WANTED. I THREW A FIT. I GOT IT. (without the periods of course) Now I immediately thought the rim was a joke. But then I rethought this. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe the teen that owned that car did drive his or her parent(s) crazy until he or she got it. And maybe this teenager has been doing this for years. Maybe since the teen was young he or she knew if they made a big enough fuss that at some point their parent would give in. Perhaps the parent figured it was just easier to give in. Or he or she didn't want to feel like a bad parent. Kids are smart. They can learn to manipulate you. "Dad, you can afford it! Why can't I have it?! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON!"
The parent could have five good reasons. And the father might not be able to afford it. But does child care? To be honest, no. They just want what they want. Even if your teen wouldn't throw a fit about getting a car, they might throw a fit about coming home by a certain time or doing the dishes after dinner. Some parents find it intimidating to stand up to a teen. Physical speaking it's easier to discipline a five-year-old who is smaller than you, then a hulking six foot son. But you must. Some parents hate tough love. But I'll share something with you. Teens can listen if they want to. They will if they know there are REAL consequences at sake. There are many teens that have jobs. If they can keep a job and obey their boss, how come you're having trouble? Because they know from years experience what they get away with, with you. With their boss, he or she doesn't have an emotional attachment like you. If the teen gives them lip, the teen could very well be out of a job.
So if you're a parent of a defiant or non-compliant teen, grit your teeth and set limits. But set the limits when you're both calm. This is important for you as the parent. You need to be in control mentally to be in control of a situation. So do not threaten your teen with XYZ in a fit of anger. Think of a time when you saw someone yelling at someone else in total outrage. They do not look cool and composed. They look frustrated. A rebellious teen who wants something would rather have their parent frustrated, not calm. A calm parent looks more in control. And less likely to give in.
If you really plan to start setting limits today with your teen, then you must NOT BACK DOWN from set consequences you give if they disobey you. Even if your teen sulks and says mean things to you. If you give in this time, you will be on the merry-go-round with defiant behavior with your teen again. If you have an out of control teen it's too late for negotiating or discussing terms. Teens are smart. They know when their parents have back bones or not. As long as you are fair, give them praise when it is due, they will respect you in the end. I have yet to hear of someone who respects a jelly fish. So don't be a jelly fish. You deserve respect.
If you have a rebellious, defiant, or out of control teen or child check out the Total Transformation Program FREE Trial offer. You only pay S&H. Below are two reviews for Total Transformation. Remember, individual results vary.
Four out of Five Stars. Very Pleased, June 02, 2009 Review by : kirstensl
When feeling so out of control with a rebellious teenager, it was wonderful to talk to the calm customer service staff to walk me through my concerns. As it has stated, this is like have a user manual for teenagers.
Five out of Five Stars. Simply Brilliant!, June 13, 2009 Review by : Pastor Phil
I've been working with youth and families for more than 35 years. I find "Total Transformation" a most thporough application of the complex principles of human behavior and family life dynamics. But as thorough as it might be, it is perfectly usable for any parent. I find it simply brilliant.
I have already recommended "Total Transformation" to several families and plan to include a strong recommendation for its purchase in our church's teaching series on family life, planned in August and September.
Every parent needs to own and listen to this course - not just those with "troubled kids." It's a must for reaching the highest of goals for every child.
As a pastor I am concerned with Biblical values being the faoundation for all teaching. I found all the principles and practices of "Total Transformation," including the necessary frank language, more than permissible in Biblical terms, but rather required. Not once have I been disappointed in the courses conclusions and applications.
Thank you for getting this thorough, quality, honest, practical, and affordable material to the public as you have. It is going to be appreciate for generations to come.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Pool Party and Beach Safety Tip
Summer is here so pool parties and beach time is in full swing. If you have a pool party make sure more than one parent is on pool watch. No book or magazine reading during this time. Attention should be on the pool. Do not have people who have consumed alcohol as pool monitors. Pool monitors should NOT drink alcohol while watching the children in the pool. At least one person at the pool party, who hasn't been drinking alcohol, should know CPR. If your child is going to a pool party you might want to stay if lots of children will be there.
At the beach watch your children carefully. There can be dangerous undertows. Lifeguards are great, but monitor your own children in the water. The lifeguards have lots of people to watch. There should be absolutely NO horse play where one child puts the head of another in the water!
At the beach watch your children carefully. There can be dangerous undertows. Lifeguards are great, but monitor your own children in the water. The lifeguards have lots of people to watch. There should be absolutely NO horse play where one child puts the head of another in the water!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Doggy Tip
It's hot out during the day right now. Make sure your dog has plenty of water. Do not leave their water in a metal bowl in the hot sun. The metal can get really hot. Put water in a ceramic bowl and place in the shade. Beware of plastic bowls for puppies. They could chew them.
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