Be Tough, Get Your Teen to Start Behaving Today!
Last month, as I was walking my dog, I passed my niece's high school where the students park their cars. I saw a shiny new black sports car with a license plate rim with something to this effect: I SAW. I WANTED. I THREW A FIT. I GOT IT. (without the periods of course) Now I immediately thought the rim was a joke. But then I rethought this. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe the teen that owned that car did drive his or her parent(s) crazy until he or she got it. And maybe this teenager has been doing this for years. Maybe since the teen was young he or she knew if they made a big enough fuss that at some point their parent would give in. Perhaps the parent figured it was just easier to give in. Or he or she didn't want to feel like a bad parent. Kids are smart. They can learn to manipulate you. "Dad, you can afford it! Why can't I have it?! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON!"
The parent could have five good reasons. And the father might not be able to afford it. But does child care? To be honest, no. They just want what they want. Even if your teen wouldn't throw a fit about getting a car, they might throw a fit about coming home by a certain time or doing the dishes after dinner. Some parents find it intimidating to stand up to a teen. Physical speaking it's easier to discipline a five-year-old who is smaller than you, then a hulking six foot son. But you must. Some parents hate tough love. But I'll share something with you. Teens can listen if they want to. They will if they know there are REAL consequences at sake. There are many teens that have jobs. If they can keep a job and obey their boss, how come you're having trouble? Because they know from years experience what they get away with, with you. With their boss, he or she doesn't have an emotional attachment like you. If the teen gives them lip, the teen could very well be out of a job.
So if you're a parent of a defiant or non-compliant teen, grit your teeth and set limits. But set the limits when you're both calm. This is important for you as the parent. You need to be in control mentally to be in control of a situation. So do not threaten your teen with XYZ in a fit of anger. Think of a time when you saw someone yelling at someone else in total outrage. They do not look cool and composed. They look frustrated. A rebellious teen who wants something would rather have their parent frustrated, not calm. A calm parent looks more in control. And less likely to give in.
If you really plan to start setting limits today with your teen, then you must NOT BACK DOWN from set consequences you give if they disobey you. Even if your teen sulks and says mean things to you. If you give in this time, you will be on the merry-go-round with defiant behavior with your teen again. If you have an out of control teen it's too late for negotiating or discussing terms. Teens are smart. They know when their parents have back bones or not. As long as you are fair, give them praise when it is due, they will respect you in the end. I have yet to hear of someone who respects a jelly fish. So don't be a jelly fish. You deserve respect.
If you have a rebellious, defiant, or out of control teen or child check out the Total Transformation Program FREE Trial offer. You only pay S&H. Below are two reviews for Total Transformation. Remember, individual results vary.
Four out of Five Stars. Very Pleased, June 02, 2009 Review by : kirstensl
When feeling so out of control with a rebellious teenager, it was wonderful to talk to the calm customer service staff to walk me through my concerns. As it has stated, this is like have a user manual for teenagers.
Five out of Five Stars. Simply Brilliant!, June 13, 2009 Review by : Pastor Phil
I've been working with youth and families for more than 35 years. I find "Total Transformation" a most thporough application of the complex principles of human behavior and family life dynamics. But as thorough as it might be, it is perfectly usable for any parent. I find it simply brilliant.
I have already recommended "Total Transformation" to several families and plan to include a strong recommendation for its purchase in our church's teaching series on family life, planned in August and September.
Every parent needs to own and listen to this course - not just those with "troubled kids." It's a must for reaching the highest of goals for every child.
As a pastor I am concerned with Biblical values being the faoundation for all teaching. I found all the principles and practices of "Total Transformation," including the necessary frank language, more than permissible in Biblical terms, but rather required. Not once have I been disappointed in the courses conclusions and applications.
Thank you for getting this thorough, quality, honest, practical, and affordable material to the public as you have. It is going to be appreciate for generations to come.
